Living with someone with severe OCD Community Group

Support group for family living or dealing with a family member with OCD. All is welcome into this community people with or without OCD. I dont understand everything My wife is going through and I need to know how to help her. PLEASE HELP ME.

62 Members
103 Posts
0 Online
Mental Health
/ Living with someone with severe OCD Support Group

Ocd linked to verbal abuse?????

Krissydo59
Krissydo59

First, i want to say i really love and only want to support my boyfriend. He is a very good man, with a good heart.


However, living with him is not as easy as it was dating him.. And i do get very frustrated at times because before we moved in together and started renting a home, he knew i wasnt exactly the most clean person. Im not a slob, but im not a overly cleanning person either, in the past my old apartment would get messy though out the week but i would  then get everything done on a very dedicated cleaning day. And i always had a cat, which he knew would be moving into the house with us. So today, i am feeling very frustrated because i have been living with him for 3 months now, and his ocd makes EVERYTHING IMPOSSIBLE. i dont know if im going crazy, but i somehow am feeling a little abused because of how he yells at me instead of telling me things. its everyday lately, and he yells at me "its not my fault i have ocd" and then i just feel terrible.  its very hard for me to deal with, i am on this site because i have ptsd from abusive exes. plus He never told me his ocd was this bad, but i THINK he could possibly have ocpd, but i dont know i am not a professional. But he wont let me unpack all of my things. As a woman i like to decorate the house, and he has to have complete control over that. I dont work, and he dosent even like me cleaning because he says it frustrates him when he has to do it over. It saddens me that he cant even appreciate anything i do. My cooking, my cleaning, everything sucks. yet he dosent want to do it either so its very hard, he yells at me to hire maids when he knows theres not a single way i could afford those types of services yet he yells and yells for hours that thats all that would make him happy. 



What about me, my problems and what makes me happy???? (i know that thats what im supposed to be working on with my healing process)




Yet ill try to clean and its not good enough. Its hard to clean too when being yelled at for hours and not allowed to eat, when he knows i have medical problems, like amnemia and iron defficancy plus all my own mental health problems and and addiction sickness, and everything i go threw, it dosent matter to him, like i just want to make some noodles so bad right now, but hes sleeping on the couch and i know if i even try to wash a dish he will just start yelling at me :( 



I honestly dont know how to deal with such a stubborn, overbearing yelling person. I just cannot stand anymore yelling in my life anymore! 

Munchkin828
Munchkin828
Hi Krissy, I am in a similar marriage as you and can relate to your relationship. My husband has severe OCD but not about cleaning. He relies on me to reassure him and relieve him of whatever he is fearful of. For example he will need to make sure all junk mail is shredded so none of our personal info is in the trash. But he needs me to confirm things like how many pieces of mail we received that day or what it was. If I don't do it or "get it wrong" he will scream at me and call me an unsupportive wife to the point where the things he says would be considered verbally abusive. I feel like I am dealing with a person with extreme opposites. He is responsible loyal and loving but once he has an OCD moment it goes from 0 to 100 quick. After we have an explosive episode the next day he will come and apologize and this cycle continues throughout the 3 years we have been together. I really don't know if I can stay in this marriage. I see a therapist who thinks we are in an unhealthy relationship because of my husband's aggressive behavior. I don't have anyone locally who can relate.
rob1950
rob1950
hi. after being with and ocd person,i found it never seems to go away it might get better. and it is in the genes. i had to stop real cooking of meals when complaints became hard to endure.although we are still together now going on 15 years we still argue. we are both forgiving people and appreciate each other. i think it depends on the traits each has.ex.she is extrovert i am introvert. i cope with things by being selfish and ignore some things she says.