Life In Sobriety Community Group

A group for all those who are living a sober life and want to discuss how it is for you today - months, years into sober living. The focus is not on how you got sober, it's how you see and appreciate your life today and how your relationships with people and life itself may have changed.

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deleted_user 03/05/2013

Ive been clean from street drugs for years. ever since moving to wisconsin ive become so addicted to alcohol. its like its normal to be a drunk up here. Two nights ago saturday night I drank so much. My husband got pulled over cause i couldnt drive. he got a dwl. which is nothing but we couldnt drive the car. had to walk miles to a motel. i fell at least four times and having degenerative cartilage disease its not good to fall. cds fallling food from dinner. we made it after walking forever and me falling on black ice. we spent the night in a hotel. i felt like i was back on the streets of where i did drugs. waking up the next morning in horrid pain from the falls and bruises everywhere. we had to walk back to the car. the cop let him get off even though he was two times the legal limit. he passed the test cause we can drink alot. i thought this is lombard "where i did drugs all over again." we headed home and ive been in pain eversince. I cant remember the whole night but people buying shots drinking and singing karoke. its a blur. but the ice cold pain of the freezing temps. ive slept outside homeless and it sucks. if not for my husband i could of slept there fallen in the black ice the rest the night. he pulled me up. I dont know why i cant give up this shit. i mean i gave up so many drugs no problem. it sucked at first. but its like this i cant. everywhere i go its there. gas station, grocery store. i cant escape it. maybe thats why. god help me. god help me.

fishboy316 03/06/2013

Hi lucky! Keep talking! You can do it! Got to be ready! Ask for the help! You must find some way to get to meetings somewhere! Out the same effort towards getting clean that you would towards getting messed up!
Still praying for you!
Bill

nickyj18022002 03/06/2013

The reason you can't learn where alcohol is concerned is the whole crux of alcoholism. In the AA big book it explains it like putting your hand on a hot stove and burning it then just going ahead and touching it again. My experience is the only thing I needed to answer the question "why" was a knowledge of what alcoholism really is, then I needed to move forward with a solution that I knew had worked for many many people.

Do you have a copy of the AA big book. I would recommend reading the drs opinion and the first three chapters to get a grasp of why you keep doing the same thing over and over. Certainly came as a revelation to me when I read it.

deleted_user 03/06/2013

Keep trying Lucky!
You are worth it.
Things will not make sense until you get help.
We are always here, but you need help now. Can you visit a drug and alcohol centre or visit your local doctor or a public hospital. They must have some connections with supporting young people like yourself. Every fall you have, just keep getting up. I am still praying for you too.
Mary :)

atticus63 03/09/2013

Hi Lucky, Just checking in. I want you to know you are not alone. At this point the best thing you can do for yourself is take it in degrees of manageable time. There is a saying I like, and I know it sounds kind of cutesy but I really like it. ..Inch by inch, life's a cinch. Yard by yard, life it hard. -Take it as slowly as you need. Don't worry about tomorrow. All we have is the present. Just remember don't pick up that first drink. Thinking of you and wishing you good things, Hugs, ~atticus

deleted_user 03/10/2013

Well some of us really do need God's help, me included! If you read the Big Book it makes it all pretty clear but personally I could not see that until I joined a Big Book study group and got a sponsor who went through it all with me.

I had to stop fighting it with willpower and find a Power greater than myself. I followed direction through the 12 Steps with my best effort and God took care of the rest. Sober and free for some time now but that is not my doing.

Try to stop comparing this with your experience with street drugs they are DIFFERENT - that's why there are other 12 Step fellowships other than AA.

deleted_user 04/07/2013

Sorry for writing so late. I thank you all for writing. You know I dont get it my father has scrosis of the liver and has drank since with alcohic seziures. my mom cant pour wine without going on the floor. my stepdad has to have brandy with coffee. yet i keep needing it. I try so hard not to but when i dont i taste it and think of how i feel with it. i drank socially. but after my mom died its like all i wanted was my alcohol. thats it. my husband limited us first to three bottles of vodka a week. then two now one. but i mean it is still not good. I wanna drink but i hate it. but when i dont i feel the taste in my mouth but i know how it wrecked me as a child being happy then abuised when my parents were drunk. I fluked on this weeks aa meeting becuase i had a major panic attack and I dont wanna go in on a bunch of clonopin to my first meeting but its the only way to get through. i plan to try this week. it cant be worse then the book club. i wanna try. I dont wanna end up like my mom with my mind gone or my dad having seizures and scrosises of the liver. god help me. my mom would be so sad seeing me in the state im in. thank you for all your support on this site. it keeps me going.

deleted_user 04/07/2013

I did read the first three chapters of aa and na and aa at the time wasint for me i guess. i joined na cause it spoke to me. i know im powerless over it. i need a higher power which i have. I just need help with the rest.

fishboy316 04/08/2013

You Go where you get what you need! Or at least some of what you need! Just make sure you GO.
Prayers and love for you!
Bill

deleted_user 04/09/2013

i PLAN TO GO THIS THURSDAY EVEN IF I HAVE TO TAKE MY ANXIETY MEDS TO GO. ITS HARD HAVING PTSD AND SEVERE PANIC DISORDER. I GOT THROUGH NA AND READ IT AND GOT THROUGH MOST STEPS. I DID THE REST ON MY OWN FOR THE MOST PART. I STOPPED AND HAVINT SINCE. BUT ALCOHOL IS A DRUG SO I FEEL THAT ALL THAT I DID MAY TURN BACK TO DRUGS. IT COULD. IM HOPING TO GO THIS THURSDAY AND TO JUST TRY IT OUT. IVE BLACKED OUT TWICE IN ONE MONTH. FELL ON ICE SIX TIMES LEAVING A BAR AFTER MY HUSBAND GOT PULLED OVER FOR A OWL AND STILL MY KNEE IS MESSED UP. I DONT BELIEVE IN HITTING ROCK BOTTOM LIKE MY FATHER ON THE STREETS TO GET HELP. I THINK THAT NOW IS THE TIME BEFORE IT GETS TO THAT POINT. IM GLAD I FOUND THIS HELP ON HERE BECAUSE SOMETIMES LIFE IS TO MUCH

fishboy316 04/09/2013

Sometimes it is overwhelming! The difference is you can sorta deal with it! Just remember you are going for YOU! Don't worry about what others think! You will be ok. You are ok.
Love and prayers!
Bill

deleted_user 04/10/2013

thanks, I read bill w. story this morning online and I checked out an aa book the only one they had but it was the one with stories which I have already read. I am planning on going. I have a meeting with my psych for my panic attacks and if all goes well im gonna show up. I know i need to nip it cause I was so down to death with drugs and dont want it to get that far with alcohol. I will let you guys know how the meeting goes. thanks for all the support. i feel im making the right decision by going.

deleted_user 04/27/2013

lol, thanks bill,
easier said then done when you live in wisconsin which is known for its beer and alcohol comsumtion. most towns have more bars then banks or resturants.lol.

deleted_user 08/14/2013

The NA way of doing things is not the same as AA. If you have a problem with alcohol you need AA simple as that. I did it the NA way and it did not serve me well. You may have a Higher Power and that is great but what you need in order to stay sober, you need the 12 Step programme as it is in the Big Book which will bring about a spiritual awakening (this is not the same as simply believing in a Higher Power). You cannot do the steps on your won, you need a sponsor who can take you through them. Please go to an AA meeting and look for a woman who sounds like she is happy in recovery and who has a good understanding of the 12 steps. If you find someone ask her if she has had a spiritual awakening through the 12 steps and if she says yes, ask her to sponsor you. From your posts I can see that you do not really understand what alcoholism actually is and that is essential if you are to get sober. Once you do know, you will know how imperative it is for you to undertake the programme of recovery.

Alcohol is a poisonous substance rather than a drug as you have experienced them in the past.

deleted_user 08/14/2013

Ok, I see when your last post was so how are things going now?? Have you done the Steps? Have you recovered? Have you had a spiritual awakening as the result of the steps??

If not, what has gone wrong for you? How can we help you here. We need people who have recovered to carry the message in order to be of help to others.

akacountrygirl 09/07/2013

Alcohol is a drug babe. You really need to get involved in your local a.a. meetings. You will find support and knowledge beyond campare.

You wonder why you felt like the days of druging.....it is because of the legal drug called alcohol. You can give it up, but you have to make sobriety your number 1 priority..

I will keep you in my prayers.

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