Hey! Guess what else??? As you move through the healing process....you get to leave Survivor status and become a Thriver/Conqueror! It's pretty awesome!

So true a long road ahead of me but I will get there. Alot to pull thru worth the climb to thrive and conquer. Thank you for your courage

I like this and do feel I have moved from Victim to Survivor. I am having a hard time getting to Thriver though. I know it will come. I can remember still feeling like a Victim and thinking I would never feel like a Survivor but now I do. Its difficult because for the first time in my life I am conciously going it alone. I was always co-dependent and had someone in my lief but I see now that wasn't healthy and I need to be healthy then have someone in my life. The problem is I have always just been in survival mode my whole life. As a kid growing up with divorced parents, absent father, abusive mother, controlling ex husband and finally topped off with the ex Narc boyfriend who now sits in prison for stalking me. Ive never really had the time or taken the time to know me and develope me other than through my career so I tend to now just be a work-aholic and have no hobbies, outside interest or social groups. I know, sad and pathetic...and honestly I have tried over the years but I can never really find anything that interest me. I envy people who talk about their hobbies, interest or passions. I really have none. The one thing I really love is to travel. Itcan be anywhere, a weekend trip to a cute little town to check out the sites and history or whatever. Just getting away, experiencing something new and having a good time, but unfortunatley that is an expensive hobby and one I can't afford.

@Coffeecupgirl - First and foremost....stop telling yourself and the Universe that anything about you is sad and pathetic!! It's not! You have experienced some very difficult situations in your life and how those experiences affected you are quite typical. When we grow up with an abusive parent, we aren't afforded the opportunity to find out who we are. We adopt personality traits to appease the abuser as means to survive. You now have the opportunity to develop your own personality because there isn't anyone standing over you telling you how you should feel or act or think. It's a clean slate. You get to draw the picture and write the story!! And if you try out something new just because it sounds cool, but you end up not really liking it, then erase it from the picture. You are in charge of your life now. You are the designer. Let yourself think like a toddler would....."Hmm, that looks fun!"...and then run over and play! It's really the only way I have figured out anything that I like to do, so it seems to work pretty good.

As for the traveling thing....I'm not sure where you live, but if there's a state park near by, go get lost there for an afternoon. Just meander and wander around. Nature is always new and different. Grab your camera and take pictures, or a pad of paper and a pencil to draw with. It might help ease the craving to travel when you otherwise can't afford to.

Yes I am a Survivor! I made it through the abuse

so true

we are all survivors but the the ones i met i am extremely cautious of because they turned out to be full of bs. i had one tell me i should endure or accept the abuse/mistreatment yet this woman called herself a survivor in what way? she claimed she went thru therapy and lives such a great life not when ur telling someone to enjoy the abuse!

i told her then u must miss the mistreatment since ur telling me all of this shit she was furious! i said why would u say something like that knowing u hated it (so u claim) and i hated it too? she couldnt answer that i said ok ppl like u i lose trust in real quick because ur flip flopping in ur feelings about these kinds of abuse. if ur truly over what happen, then stand in ur truth. i am but i never tell someone they should endure the abuse and learn to accept it try to understand the abuser like the hell thats gonna happen!

ive had ppl tell me try to understand ur abusive parents i said fuck that what is there to understand? what kind of advice is that?! im not wasting my time trying to figure it out its wrong for what they r doing period end of sentence! i told this woman if ur a true survivor stand up because real survivors are not punks who are still feel they are a push over or walking door mat!

she got on my nerves so bad i had to end the conversation because i saw in her face how she was not fully over her issues like she claim she was. it was more than one person where i had those encounters with no thank you i want real advice from a real survivor....