You always see in the movies and hear alot on here, that when those final papers come people just fall apart and cry. I couldnt wait for my papers. My divorce took 23 months and many court visits so I was thrilled when it was finally over. Its a new chapter starting in your life, you get to write your own story, no one else can tell you what to do, think, say anymore. It feels great. Yeah, I have my bad days, but the good ones far out weigh the bad.

In my first marriage our divorce was final two years after our separation and it was December 31 2000. Talk about new beginnings. Although I thought I was over it all and ready ....more than ready to move on I was devastated. I ended up going to a New Years party with my boyfriend at the time and my brother and his wife and I got drunk! It was very depressing to know that all the hopes and dreams of building a life together, growing old together, supporting and loving each other til death do us part was no longer valid. It was a death and I grieved it that way. Now I l am ten months separated from my second husband and I don't even want to think about divorcing him. The more time I spend with him the more I gain awareness that we cannot get back together and he is toxic to me. It is still really sad though and again I am grieving a loss. The only thing that helped the first time and I am confident it will help again is time! Time heals better than anything else I have ever tried.

Magna,
I had the same experience. The day we finalized, I felt relief and was surprise I didn't feel more devastation. That day actually went okay. Then the realization hit me two days later and I fell apart. This process messes with your emotions on such a grand scale, all you can do is cope as best you can and ride it out. One day you'll feel great with tons of hope and the next you'll feel like there's nothing but challenges in front of you. One day you'll be hopeful for a brighter future and the next you'll find yourself crying at a stop light over the loss of your dreams/future. It's a crazy process and makes you feel crazy too. Hang in there. I'm still new to this but little by tiny little, time is helping.

Take care,
munso

Thank you all. It's continued to be a roller coaster, but I am certain it will improve with time.

I'm trying everything I can...tai chi, meditation, a therapist, a better diet, and am going to look into joining a gym. Still, it's a journey.

Interesting. I have 10 1/2 more hours to go until my divorce is final! It's been a 4 year journey!!!! I too have been experiencing a variety of emotions. Thanks for sharing your experience. Sending you my support.

My divorce will be over soon and I know I will feel very mixed emotions. It is not something I ever wanted or anticipated, yet I know there is NO WAY I would live with this man again! I looked at and divided stacks and stacks of family photos, and years of memories, mostly good. Very hard to balance all of that with the man he is now- the one who cheated and left. I will probably go off alone- away from my kids that day for awhile...I am not really looking forward to it, just want all of this ridiculous, unfair, negotiating to be over.

It took 18 Months of Hell to divorce my lying, cheating now-X and I was in intense therapy the entire time! Needless to say, when the final divorce was granted, I felt an overwhelming sense of RELIEF. But, just as my therapist had warned, I had one more low. It came a few weeks later and I was sick as a dog for about 48 hours -- so ill that I was afraid to try to come downstairs to call 911. Fortunately, it passed and I recovered. My therapist called it "delayed stress syndrome" -- things started getting a whole lot better after that. Since then, I haven't been sick one day -- not even a cold! -- and it will be 5 years next month. Amazing!
Allow yourself to grieve, but don't let it consume you. Give yourself permission to reflect, but don't let it drag you down. We have to fully experience the feelings in order to learn about ourselves. You will be fine; just be patient and know that for awhile, you might have to push yourself a little harder to keep going. Hugs and prayers to you.

I've been separated three years and my divorce isn't final yet but this entire experience has been such an unpleasant, depressing and emotionally draining one that I pray everyday to wake up tomorrow and get that piece of paper to finally end it! I was married for 11 years to someone who seemed for at least five of those years---the best man to ever walk on the face of the earth. Then little episodes of verbal and emotional abuse became physical when I started my own business so I walked out. Now that we're going through a divorce, I do not know this person! I am shocked to see the monster that has revealed itself and scared to know I once lived in the same house, slept in the same bed with this person! I had heard that divorce is nasty but nothing prepared me for this. I am so anxious to get my final paper that I'm planning a week-long celebration-out of pure relief to be free of this vindictive person. I hope I don't go through the anger phase/emotional roller coaster afterwards because God knows I've had enough. Just want to move on and create a new life for myself.