Life After Divorce Support Group
This community is dedicated to starting over after a divorce. With the marriage over, how do individuals begin a new chapter in their lives and what hurdles do they face? Divorce is often one of the most traumatic periods in a person's life. Studies show it is the second-most stressful event in life, after the death of a spouse.
Feel like I've hit rock bottom. Ive been trying so hard to start that new chapter after my divorce but it snot happening. Every day the struggle seems to get harder to overcome. My faith and strength are just running out. I keep thinking every day I will see that new glimmer of hope but I see nothing but grey clouds. Im trying so hard too. Just feel like I'm failing at everything. I know they say happiness comes from within. My soul searching hasn't found it yet. Sad part is....I can't remember the last time I was truly happy...its been that long. I thought by now I would see things starting to turn around for the better. But I feel like a sinking ship instead. 2+ years have past since the divorce. That alone was a huge step but it was the right one. I never regret that decision. They say time heals and good things come to those how wait. How much time...how long do I have to wait ? I can handle being alone but it's the emptiness that I can't get past. Everyone tells me.....I dont know how you do it... you are such a strong person. What they dont know is that inside...Im falling apart.
I also felt I would never be happy again, but in time, as I started finding the little happy moments, I found myself and my happiness again. I still have moments of "what might have been" but they don't last long. Overall, I am quite satisfied with my life.
You will get there.
Sending loads of hugs!
Also consider attending a divorce support group. There are two national groups:
www.divorcecare.com (bible based)
www.rebuilding.org (based on Dr. Bruce Fisher's book, Rebuilding)
Both are 12 weeks long & meet in person. Divorcecare uses videos & group discussion. Rebuilding has guest speakers & small group discussion. Fees are nominal & some groups offer scholarships for those in need. Rebuilding also offers concurrent groups for kids!
I know this might sound trite, but it actually works, if you do it every day.
Start a written gratitude list. It changed my world!!!!
My original goal was 10 things a day. In the beginning, I was lucky to come up with one! And that was I was grateful I woke up that morning. There were some mornings I couldn't even be grateful for that! It took a few stops & starts but eventually I kept the list going. Not only did I write things down, but I referred back to my list on a daily basis whenever I started feeling down.
Gratitude can be about anything. For ex: I'm grateful to have a roof over my head, a car or other transportation, food to eat, loving kids, whatever level of health, etc.
As you expand your gratitude horizons, you will discover yourself finding more and more things for which to be grateful, like seeing a beautiful butterfly, or a dandelion blooming in the middle of winter. And pretty soon, you'll discover, the more you see, the more you see. You get to choose what it is you see!
A long time ago a therapist told me over & over what we focus on expands. I just didn't get it back then. Now I KNOW she was absolutely right.
It takes time, but as you find gratitude in the smallest things, your view of the world & your life will gradually shift toward the positive.
Big hugs to you!
I am 2.5+ years. My kids are still adjusting and we are still going through some moments--many of which are pretty difficult--together. Sometimes I lose hope, but in the end, hope is all that I have.
Don't lose yours.