I am a 36 yr old born-again christian husband and father. My wife and I have been together for 10 years now, married for 7 yrs as of tomorrow. (08.25.14.) Which btw is when our divirce will be officially final. My wife and I had many difficulties in our marriage. I was an immature and selfish fool for most of the marriage. However; I loved her deeply and wanted badly to try to become a godly and loving husband to her. But my wife refused (continuously) to forgive even the smallest offense to her. She only said that she didn't have to forgive me because she was still "pissed off." Time and time again I begged my wife to try to make up with me and seek advice and counselling to repair our marriage. She refused. Eventually she refused to allow me to hug, kiss or touch her. She said that I was disgusting and unworthy of her love. As this occurred I became encased in a deep, long lasting depression. Eventually I even became suicidal. All I wanted was to reconcile with my wife. I longed to know her forgiveness and to feel our love once more growing inside us both. Another three years passed. Nothing changed. She would not allow me to sleep in the same bed with her, she told me I was worthless and I began to truly believe it. But deep down inside I still loved my bride. I still do to this day.

Eventually I made the worst mistake of my life. I cheated. Afterwards I wanted to die. I fought an incredibly strong urge to commit suicide for the next 2 years. Feeling hopeless, rejected and unloved, I made another horrible mistake, I filed divorce papers on my innocent wife. I immediately regretted doing it too. I tried to stop it. I tried to drag it out. It lasted more than a year. In the meantime she moved out and started dating. Finally after countless hours of prayer and heartache I gave in to her demands on her divorce settlement. It left me in total financial ruin and no say or rights as a father. I am occasionally permitted to see our daughter, but never for very long. This is largely because I am an emotional crying mess, and my meds dont even cut it anymore, my depression has now become a permanent raging oblivion.

I want to relate to you. I committed a sin that not only ruined my family, it ruined my entire life. And now that I am unlawfully divorced and an adulterer, I am condemned to live out the rest of my days lonely, aching for love and stricken with grief for the loss of my wife (who is now very happy with her new "sexy" boyfriend.) No matter how sorry I am, no matter how much I support her and my daughter, no matter how much i love her, no matter that God has forgiven me... because I am condemned to a life that I have come to hate with a seething passion.

So... if you want your life to become your very own little private circle of hell, then give adultery and divorce a try. It's a sure fire way to wish you were never born. In the end, its far worse than death, because in this kind of death, your body keeps right on living.

P.S. if you are not a believer and feel the urge to question my faith, or disagree with God's standards please don't bother.