Life After Divorce Support Group
This community is dedicated to starting over after a divorce. With the marriage over, how do individuals begin a new chapter in their lives and what hurdles do they face? Divorce is often one of the most traumatic periods in a person's life. Studies show it is the second-most stressful event in life, after the death of a spouse.
I was married from 1971-1989. Three kids. He was emotionally distant, emotionally abusive, and a hoarder. I was a stay-at-home mom for most of our marriage.
Our divorce was brutal. Took from 89 to 93 and he went after custody and then even tried to stop my visitation. Kids were 12, 15 and 17. They are grown adults now and I have a good relationship with all 3. Because of all his threats, I never asked for alimony and he initially had custody so no child support. The only thing I went after was a portion of his pension s I was legally entitled to.
In 2012 he filed a motion to undo the pension agreement and survivor benefit - meaning I get his pension if I outlive him. In 2014 Judge ruled against it but left the door open for him to come back with proof that he would pay a penalty to provide the survivor benefit.
Last week he refiled with a new attorney and alleged proof.
It's outrageous that the courts allow this! There is no statute of limitations. He can apparently use the courts to harass me for the rest of our lives!
Just needed to vent.
Anyone else ever deal with anything this insane?
-
-
I had gone to the grocery store. When I wheeled my cartback to my car I just stool there a minute. A few spacesaway a Tesla Cyber truck was parked. I had seen it on theroad a few times for a few seconds. But not close up.It looked like it belonged to 2126 and not 2026. I wasgoing to take a picture of the car but the owners cameback and drove away. It was an ordinary middle age...
And that is not the issue. The issue is that I have to get an attorney and defend these harassing lawsuits and lose sleep over them. It's very upsetting.
Yes, he'll likely lose again, but last time I was not awarded legal fees and this time he has the audacity to ask me to pay HIS legal fees!
The survivorship benefits will cost him 10%. . . . AND, I found out that his retirement pay (for having worked since 1972 or 3 for the City of NY Dept of Water Resources) will be $316,ooo+! This for a H.S. graduate! And he is fighting over 10% of $300k ! ! (I BTW, have been on disability since 2003 and my entire income is just above the poverty level.)
You could also argue that he needs to pay you some damages for all the stress and financial burden of his constant legal battle
I already had to go back to court just one year after our divorce for a tax question ... exausting I agree
The biggest issue is living under this stress which is CONSTANT because he keeps coming back at me!! Being sued and having to defend it is very anxiety producing - hard to sleep cause i keep thinking of answers to stupid claims he made.
I divorced him to be RID of him and I'm not. GRRRRR!
Just need to VENT!!
Oh I also became disabled and got my disability after fighting for it for 9 years. This year I turned 62 and was forced to take early retirment. Are you aware that you are eligible for a portion of his Social Security Retirement if you were in a marriage that lasted 10 or more years. If you have not already, I would contact Social Security and ask about it.