It is all very painful. No one seems to understand the emptiness..

I'm not sure I'm far enough past my own divorce to know what to say to this ... it's hard having someone hate you who you loved and trusted, but I'm not sure the hate is really about you. But I believe it is more about them and how they feel about themselves.

Keep moving forward, it will get better.

It is difficult to have someone hates you. Be strong. Do some activities to meet new people. it may help you. I hope you overcome this situation soon.

Mrstrength: KNOW that you are what I call "a work in progress" and that this hurt and feeling worthless will also pass. It just takes TIME, DISTANCE and absolute minimal (if any) CONTACT with the X.

You HAVE been run through the wringer, but that's behind you now. Wake up each morning and give thanks for another day! Attitude is EVERYTHING. Take it from one who has been there, done all that and lived to tell about it!

I am so very very sorry for everything you have been put through.

Please know that most, if not all of your ex's anger, behaviour etc is all about her, her anger at life, herself etc, and sadly because she is not prepared to work on trying to face up to what the problem is with herself, it is far easier for her to blame it on or turn it all onto you.

This does not make you a bad person, a worthless person or is no way a reflection on who you are. I know it is hard to get to that place and it makes you feel like you have been and are still being put through the ringer, but quite honestly the only way you can really help yourself heal is by understanding that you do not deserve any of the junk she spews in your direction, or the horrendous treatment she dishes out to you.
I understand how painful it is when someone you thought of as your best friend and you loved turns on you for no apparent reason. But the only thing we can do to save ourselves is to understand if there is any little part of it that might be our problem which we can work on and then safeguard ourselves from having anymore pain inflicted on us.
You will find yourself again and you will get past the pain and nightmare.

There are any number of choices a person can make emotionally. Choosing to blame someone else for those choices takes the solution out of the response. There is so much more behind someones attempted suicide. Yes, each of us can feel unhappiness in our relationship but to take it to the extreme of suicide attempt, surviving and then turning it into the other person's fault is way beyond reason. On top of this, having a child be a witness to that kind of self hatred.
Yes, we mourn in our pain and hopefully it works to move us towards healing. Don't let anyone else's confusion, loss of self worth interfere with our capacity to create lives free of oppressive choas. Each of us does have a choice.

thank you all for all the inspiration, guidance it is so appreciated!

thank you

I totally get what your saying....I'm going through something similiar also. I have been separated for over 2 years all because my ex-husband suffers anxiety depression and refuses to get help. He is a different person now, made bad decisions that has cost us our marriage and his relationship with his kids who are 10 and 14 years old. I don't even no this man anymore after 23 years together! I am trying to move on with my life also...seen a lawyer. I lost my best friend too...so I understand your pain. Your not alone.

I admire your courage, and will power. I think that you have endured a lot of emotional heartaches, and abuse. I hope that you are able to again find happiness. I am dealing with similar issues, and although they may not be as heightened in intensity as most of the others on this site, they are indeed monumental to me as yours are the same to you. Hopefully, one day both of us will be able to put a posting on this site that we have found a harmony, and balance in our life. Thanks, John

Thanks I feel for all of us. I know its way too soon for me, but just corious, I went on match dot com, did not sign up , just filled out and put a picture on.I recieved 4 interest in 6 hrs. Now for me...that was huge.... I have been told I was an asshole and bastard and so much more.I have been shot down and I felt worthless and to this point on occasions I still do. But the interests where huge for me. I looked at photos of women and cant help but compare, I try not too, but I do. I look at the eyes first, eyes are very important to me, the shape, and the shape in the moods from happy to still. I loved her eyes. I look at the photos, where they were taken bars?? clubs?? out side with family?? and most really affect me. The bar thing.. I want no part of. the family thing is just too painful. So I am going to stop. I long for the closeness I though I had, the adult moments, talking hanging out, flirting the conversations, the intimate times. I just exists. I am starting to get direction and climb out of my financial mess, but I do get lonely. I find myself waking up with my arms wrapped around the pillow the way she would sleep... so f ing painful!!

Mr Strength, I too went on Match but for a brief moment. I too received winks and favorites quickly. I learned I am in no shape to proceed. I still feel like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz twirling about not sure where I will land. 23 years married and divorced as of June. My story will some day be a Lifetime movie if I ever put it down on paper. Good luck