Try to go to a church reach out , pray ,when life gets to hard to stand knell , hugs to u !

you might suffering from depression. Are you seeing a psychiatrist. If not go see your regular doctor and see if you can get a prescription to help you sleep.

I have taking a sleeping pill the past few weeks because of not sleeping. It started to affect my job and my kids.

I do what Candy36 does, but also try to volunteer at church and in ares of my community. This not only fills up my time and tires me out before bed, but helps to create friends in my life. I love to write an dread, watch good movies, puzzles, garden, so on. So I can do many things alone, but getting involved in helping helps to connect me with others.

I practice daily gratitude. It took a while and a lot of starting and stopping, but once I got the hang of it, it changed how I see things. I started with finding just one thing every day. In increased it gradually until I had at least ten things a day.

The key is not to just look for big things like having a roof over your head, enough to eat, a job, a car that runs, or even that you woke up that morning. Those are important, but finding the little things, like the laughter of a child, a beautiful butterfly, a pretty flower, a gorgeous sunrise or sunset, etc., is the key to finding more and more gratitude. I found that the more I saw, the more I saw and it changed me significantly.

Try to find at least one new thing each day. And keep a gratitude journal. That way, when you are feeling lonely or just down in general, read all that you have to be grateful for. Anthony DeMello in his last book, The Way to Love, says (paraphrasing) that the reason we are unhappy is because we are focusing on what we don't have instead of what we do have. IMHO, the more we stay in the present moment focusing on being grateful for what we have, the less we focus on what we don't have. And it made a difference in how I saw my 'aloneness.'

I also highly recommend counseling w/a therapist who specializes in grief & loss. Also meditation and chanting. You can find different types of meditation & chanting on youtube.

Here's a great video that also might help.
It's called How to Be Alone
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7X7sZzSXYs

Big hugs to you.....

It is a daily battle. In the beginning it was a struggle to do anything due to my shock and the depression that followed. I forced myself to go out with friends, I forced myself to do the things I used to love like photography. I went to church. I am still not able to do everything but I am going in the right directionI think. I hope the best for you. Do not give up!

Thanks to all of you for your support and suggestions!! It is great to know that so many people care enough to respond!! One of the best ideas that I have really focused on has been the bible. It has really done a lot for my focus.

Like you mine has been almost 3 years....I recently started friendship but it is just with benefits.......i mean we are friends....we text daily....he has his own issues....(fighting for custody of his children) .....I reconnected with an old boyfriend on Facebook....we chat about everything.....he is married and lives far away and again Married....my ex is upset about my friend which he has no right to be since he is the one who cheated and filed for divorce..he is saying he didn't want the divorce....asshole.....and I am just so lonely....so if you figure out how to beat the loneliness let me know please

Love lost, I started training for 5k.it really helped to clear my mind when I would run, rain or shine,angry or sad.I completed the 5k an two years later I did the Warrior Dash.Start something new, rock climbing, bicycle group.Nature always helped me to focus on something besides my pain.All of these recommendations are good.Writing and talking to good friend or pastor or family member really helps.hugs

Coping skills can help somewhat. For me, all I can do is face the emotions head-on as they come at me. The loneliness is incredibly painful, but at its core (for me) is a longing for reunion with my lost love. This is often the core emotion buried underneath many others (like anger, depression, self abuse/neglect and even isolation.) It helps me to understand that this is the reason why I am hurting. As my grandmother used to say when I told her I was hungry, "What are you hungry for?" The question is... "What are you lonely for." Emotions are seldom simple and rarely understood even by those who generate them.

I hope that the pain of your loneliness fades. I hope that your soul can find peace and contentment. And I hope that you can (when the time is right again) be fulfilled by a love that understands and appreciates you for who you are.

Yup. I get it. Three years today for me and no matter what you do during the day or how many friends you have, there comes the moment when you are alone at night, getting into an empty bed and missing the feeling of that body next to you.

I do the same things as you have tried. In particular, I listen to recorded books or podcasts on my iPod. The reason I like that is that I can turn out the light and when I am feeling sleepy enough, just hit the off button. One podcast that is great is Garrison Keilor's "Lake Woebegone." The stories are really pleasant and he has a deep, slow voice.

Which brings me to another idea: I also listen to self-hypnosis or meditations, either through apps or podcasts. There are tons to choose from, for any number of goals.

Sometimes when it is bad, I fall asleep on the couch watching tv. At least the couch is narrow enough that it doesn't feel so lonely.

You're not the only one, believe me.

I wish you the best in your journey.

The emptiness is deafening. Think that is why I keep letting me x creep back into my life and then it turns bad again. I know it is wrong and I have to shut off contact but after 20 years the house is so damn empty. I spend the first few minutes in bed wishing for what might have been. Every night. It isn't getting any better and I am not either. But maybe with time we can all be ok with ourselves.

I hear you, DJ. It's almost like missing something that has never been. How long has it been for you?

A couple of things that have worked for me - turn that radio on. While I am working around the house, I have the radio on, just for the comfort of another human voice (obviously, I turn to talk radio). You might have to try several stations until you find one that suits you.

Pets - they're not for everyone and they are not to be undertaken lightly, seeing as you are committing to them for their lifespan but boy, I find them SUCH a comfort. My old doggie died recently, but having my cat running around the house, making me laugh and curling up on my feet at night definitely makes me feel less alone.

Other people I know have taken in a boarder or a roommate. Obviously there are lots of things to consider around this. The first while I could not have stood to have anyone else in the house with me 'cause sometimes I was crying my face off and wanted to be left alone but I am thinking I may consider it sometime in the future.

Hang in there.

I went through all the despair and heartache during the last few years in the marriage- and the worst lonliness is being lonely in a sad relationship- I feel really good now that I'm alone- better liberated and free at last. My ex was an emotionally abusive sex addict so I feel wonderful after being set free from that toxic relationship and I have so much more time and energy since he's gone. I have three kids and a couple of part time jobs so I stay busy but at times there is an emptiness that follows me when I'm not occupied and then I will put on some music, clean house, write, do crafts, read- but it takes a real effort sometimes to recognize a lonely sort of funk coming and to just do something instead of marinating in my own pitiful juices- I keep moving forward and keep trying and remind myself that I'm stronger and more awesome than ever!

I know about the lonliness, I was alone when I was with him but I was filled with anger at the things he used to do.
Lots of good posts I may try church. We have a lot of clubs around here so after the holidays I may pick some out to try.