I understand that feeling of hopelessness, but why do you personally feel there's no life for you after divorce?

G'day tossed,

Don't give up mate! Tough it out, Stand proud as a man and look your ex straight in the eye and say, "Fuck you!." and mean it.

Sending support pal.


Mick

I try to keep in mind that "Bad things happen to Good People. But it doesn't have to DEFINE WHO YOU ARE."

You get to do that.

This is your chance to redefine your life on your terms. Do some writing and thinking. What have you wanted to do that you haven't been able to do when you were married.

Go do some of those things. Make some changes. Find your piece of happiness.

That's my plan. I know its easier to say than do and I am just getting started.. but I hope that if can focus on the good that can come from this, I can make it through and enjoy the 2nd half of my life.

Who's with me? :)

Sounds good to me. Forty is the new thirty-Right?

Absolutely!!

great advice here.

Tossed, since we know each other a little i can say that maybe it is that you haven't let go of her completely and that could actually be holding you back. You and i know that you won't be getting back together with her. I know that you miss her and would have liked that marriage to have worked out better but really maybe there is something better yet to unfold with your life.

Personally I like Harrymck's attitude! We have all dealt with so much pain it is hard not to wallow in despair at times. I was dumped, too, tossedaside, for a typical much younger woman- blindsided. But now, a year and a half after I discovered the affair I would NEVER want to be with my X again! At the time, I tried to reconcile-I still loved him then. It is a roller coaster ride. Now I am dealing mostly with anger over financial issues, but am glad to be divorced. Things change. "Don't give up mate!"

i concur... never easy. I go back and forth as well. I recently got a new lease on life, meaning my attitude took a major adjustment. now it's all about the kids. geez, it'd be so much easier without kids involved. but I love them, and I love seeing how happy they are to see me. I know I was the one that wanted out, but it didn't mean that she had to become so mean. I reacted in kind.

Everytime her and I started talking again, becoming friendly (not sexual in any way), I would see the things I said used against me in court. I know who she is now, and I was angry for so long. Now I'm working on just being complacent. it's all about the kids.

do you have kids?