The guilt will always be there. I still feel guilty about leaving my ex. Not for another man but for the sake of my kids and my health. What was I teaching them that it is okay to be treated the way the ex treated me. Sign the papers and move on. That is the only way to break free. It takes about 1 year for every 4 years of a relationship to heal. Have you tried therapy

I go to therapy. It really helps to talk and get feedback. But sometimes I feel like Im all alone in my situation and I am in need of talking to others in my situation. Im signing the papers next week, i just didnt have the cash to do it earlier. I recently bought a house with my new partner and i know i should be really excited about it but I feel even kore guilt. Actually sick to my stomache.

changes are always hard. It will take a lot of hard work to move on. You did not say why you left. There are a lot of different forms of abuse. My marriage looks great from the outside, but from the inside there was a rot that even I did not see until he pulled the last stunt. I have bought my second condo, almost mortgage free too. I feel guilty but at the same time I am proud of myself for moving on and living the life I want. There is no one and never will be. Take as much "me time" as you need to heal. I am still taking that "me time" and it has been 11 years. Learn to love yourself first, because if you cannot do that you will never be happy no matter what you have

The marriage failed mainly because we forgot to find time for us. We were so busy with the boys that we lost us. And I really wanted to plan for our future life when the kids left home. he didnt want the things i wanted. He is 12 years older than me but that was never an issue. Looking back though I see alot of controlling techniques he used. He used the kids to make me stay.

As time goes on, you will see things more clearly. I was shocked to learn that he was and still is a control freak. Emotional and mental abuse. I was so scared to be home a bit late or not have things done. I was always walking on the edge of a knife. Worrying about what mood he was in when he got home. The list goes on and on. One thing you have to be gentle with yourself. Those guilty feelings are part of the abuse you suffered

Im sorry to hear how he treated you and how you felt you had to please him. I was somewhat like that. Always wanting to be
The perfect wife and mother. I honestly beloeve I got tired of all of it i wanted my own life. Did you lose your sense of identity? I did. Im trying to find me.

I will continue with therapy.

Thankyou for listening and recognizing my struggle.

did I ever, I did not know who I was, what I wanted and was on auto pilot for the longest of time. They erode your sense of self, your self confidence until you are a shell of what you used to be. They are very clever at that. But now, I am the one that can say |I have everything, he has nothing. Not even the kids. My son and daughter rarely talk to him. He was kicked out by his mother and now lives alone

I'm always sad to hear about a failed love. A true love is hard to find but lasts a lifetime. it has no conditions or boundaries , you can think of it as a ring. love is given and love added and is returned . it forms a ring. its no wonder that the ring is the symbol of everlasting love. so looking at your situation the loop was saddly broken some where and never repaired. GOOD LUCK, keep this in mind your next love, keep that loop going and growing.

My ex was controlling in his own way. He knew me better than I could ever know him. Boy did I get used but part of that was the way I was raised. I was the one who mowed the yard, washed and ironed the clothes, took care of younger siblings and cooked every night.

Gradually I was doing a lot of what the ex should have been doing. I bought and sold our cars, trucks and houses. Then I found my hard working, tired hubby had a bunch of other women in his life. Like Atpeacemary I was on auto pilot right up to the end of our marriage.

I was shocked when I found out exactly what the ex was doing. Why he kept working away from home. I don't trust many people but I trusted him. I've never regretted filing for divorce. It hurt but had to be done and I like the life I am making for myself.

All I could add is keep yourself focused on your future and not what should have been. It takes work to get to that point but it's so worth the effort and you can make your life the way you want to live.

Ok, let me get this straight, per your comments: "I'm in a relationship, actually with the man I left my ex for" AND you want to know "How do I Overcome the guilt?" Seriously, am I the only one seeing this?!?!?

Um, to the point your guilt is well earned and how you can call yourself a " I was an amazing wife" is beyond me. Reality s&cks and the guilt you have is well earned...enjoy!