Life After Divorce Support Group

This community is dedicated to starting over after a divorce. With the marriage over, how do individuals begin a new chapter in their lives and what hurdles do they face? Divorce is often one of the most traumatic periods in a person's life. Studies show it is the second-most stressful event in life, after the death of a spouse.

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1883hejank 02/22/2016

My ex is working from another state for a few months. He has been given the opportunity to call or skype on his regularly scheduled time. However, what was agreed to in the settlement conference and what he is claiming he gets are different. Trying to figure this out with my lawyer. In the mean time, my emotional state is not the best. After being divorced for 2 years, I am coping with his constant trouble making better, but I'm not at the point where I want to be. I want to be able to not even care what he does. I know what's good for me and my son. I try to be reasonable. The ex always acts like his opinion and demands come before mine.

Any suggestions for how to not worry this thing to death?

lostsoul72 02/23/2016

I have the same problem with my Ex-wife. One thing that I found helped me was to limit contact. I only talk to her by text message. That way depending on my mood will dictate when and if I respond to her demands. I do not let her put a timeline on anything.

Take a little of your power back from him and you will find that you like it. :)

Best of Luck

mynewnormal 02/23/2016

I agree with Lost.. cut him off. bare necessities and that's it. Its like a knee jerk reaction to care.. because face it.. at one point you loved this man. Set up a solid boundary, and don't deviate.. it helps!

I also limit my communication with my exh by txt.. and the only topics up for discussion are the kids.. when my ex tries to make it personal, the conversation is over.. set up the boundaries.. and maintain them, it gets easier over time.. I'm almost 18 months post divorce, I have no idea whats going on at my ex's house, no idea whats going on in his life.. and that's the best news I haven't heard in 18 months :)

release your worry.. and take ownership of YOU.. and your life, he's a grown man, he can manage his drama as he see's fit - you no longer need to be involved.. give yourself that freedom!

best of luck.. its NOT easy.. but its 110% worth it!

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