Life After Divorce Support Group

This community is dedicated to starting over after a divorce. With the marriage over, how do individuals begin a new chapter in their lives and what hurdles do they face? Divorce is often one of the most traumatic periods in a person's life. Studies show it is the second-most stressful event in life, after the death of a spouse.

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TomFil 07/11/2016

I divorced my ex a little over 4 years ago, we had argued over it for years before that, fortunately we've ended it amicable.She has a boyfriend now and i have had a couple of relationships here and there, but nothing meaningful.

last year i decided to call it quits, haven't been looking at all, before that I could stnd being alone, but now that I am alone it's driving me crazy, even though I've been thinking "If it happens it happens", i feel like the lonelyness creeping up on me, but what has changed now is that since I've made that decision, I've become less confident, more depessed and i keep thinking about going against my decision, but I can't get myself to even start, don't know how anymore.

I feel like there is something wrong with me, the problems I had when I was younger when I had a hard time meeting women because of my shyness, has come back, I'm totally down, what can i do?

Does anyone have any advice?

1883hejank 07/11/2016

Hi there, just wanted to offer some friendly support. Don't throw in the towel just yet. Maybe you still need to focus on yourself. Do you have any hobbies or a bucket list? I really believe people meet a good match when they love themselves and are out in the community helping people and enjoying life as a confident person rather than part of a couple. I was single for about a year after my divorce and I grew so much as an individual. Now in a serious relationship almost 2 years. That time single, gave me so much more perspective in my relationship now. It reminds me not to think of my SO as an extension of myself. We are both individuals though we share interests and have some of the same goals. See a counselor even if you don't think you need to. And if they don't help you, find a new one. I've been to both kinds and it makes a big difference. Hope this is helpful.

TomFil 07/11/2016

yes I have hobbies, but it's not working either, i guess yeah, I have to talk to someone, Thanks

Misred 07/12/2016

I don't have any good advice. I've seen guys come through here asking the same question and truth is, guys are different from women. Not saying it's a bad thing, just what I would do is different than what guys are willing to try. During and after my divorce I joined Meetup and some groups there. It's not a dating site, it's a place to meetup with people for activities. I joined two hiking groups and two dining groups. I met a lot of new people. Meetups are forgiving too because you can sign up and then drop it if you can't or don't feel up to going. Getting dressed up and going out to dinner was kind of like faux dating LOL. It gave me great confidence when it came time for me to date. Anyway, like I said, I suggested this before to guys and they just don't seem interested. They just don't care to go solo anywhere new. I did notice in most of my meetups very few men came alone and if they came with someone, it was a woman. I think seeing a counselor or a personal coach might help you

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