Hi, I'm sorry for what you're going thru. I found therapy to be immensely helpful in improving self esteem and also learning to love and be with myself. I was married for decades and so I am actually enjoying being on my own and rediscovering who I am. I do have health issues that prevent me from doing some of the things I'd like to but I have found other interests.

It's really important to give yourself the time you need to grieve the loss of your marriage and everything that goes along with that.

Have you considered attending a Rebuilding after divorce workshop? Check out www.rebuilding.org.

I spent most of my life in fear, but have found thru therapy that fear is mostly an illusion that prevents me from living my life. Fear is almost always connected to the future. So, I do my best to practice living in the moment. I also keep a daily gratitude list. It really changed how I see things.

There are a couple of really good books that might help you. The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle followed by A New Earth. I also highly recommend Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh and The Way to Love by Anthony DeMello.

I have crippling RA. My hands are deformed and i wear leg braces. But let me tell you -- I have never met anyone male or female of any age who didn't have SOMETHING. there are many invisible disabilities. Most people have at least one addiction. If they don't drink or smoke or do drugs, they are shopaholics or workaholics or hoarders... Half the world is in therapy and the rest need to be!

Make a list of all you have to offer! Physicality is not the be all and end all. Women are more able to look beyond that, especially as you get older, you'll see that.