Life After Divorce Support Group
This community is dedicated to starting over after a divorce. With the marriage over, how do individuals begin a new chapter in their lives and what hurdles do they face? Divorce is often one of the most traumatic periods in a person's life. Studies show it is the second-most stressful event in life, after the death of a spouse.
On June 30th he was crying, begging, me to please come back home. By July 3rd he was married on July 10th he stood at the door with the police asking for the keys to "his" truck. Which would have left me and his 6 yr old son with no vehicle. My understanding from my bf is his wife has a lot of money. My truck is at 93 Explorer for Goodness Sake! He has a Lexus...(Let me just say I paid cash for the truck and it was only in his name because I was from out state at the time of purchase. I had him sign an statement that the truck was mine and I have the title so the police let me keep it)I'm don't know if i'm angry, hurt, depressed or maybe a little of all it. I don't even know what to say. Although I never "married" him we have been together in a relationship/established a home for 8 years and I'm feeling like a need a word from seasoned divorcees. Can anybody tell me what this is??? Two weeks ago we we're buying groceries...he's married now??? I'm lost...
Since you never married this guy, "seasoned divorcees" have to step outside of it a bit. First of all, I just hope you have learned your lesson -- NEVER EVER get pregnant by a man you are not LEGALLY MARRIED TO. There are very few states that recognize common law marriages anymore which, simply put, leaves your ass in the wind should the relationship come to an end.
You are very lucky that the police let you keep that truck! Do what you have to right now to get the name on the title changed to YOUR NAME ONLY to avoid any hassles in the future.
Sounds to me like this man you were involved with was living a double life for quite awhile. When the other woman started putting the pressure on him, he folded and, unfortunately, he chose HER over you and his own son. Or maybe she just looked like a better meal ticket than you did. Heartless fool, he is.
Move on. Find a counselor or therapist to help you get through the pain of betrayal and abandonment. Rebuild your self-esteem. You are young and you have the rest of your life ahead of you! Don't let this thing ruin you -- learn your lessons well and then make the rest of your life the BEST of your life!
Lots of women have children out of wedlock all the time. Yes, when you decide to have a child, it's a lifelong responsibility and hopefully, every woman who does so gives that child the very best home and the very best circumstances she can afford to.
Hopefully, you are not going to let your X of scot free when it comes to supporting his child financially! That would be doing your son a huge disservice.
Now, as to "getting past it" YES counseling does help! it's time to work on yourself so that you can be strong and self-assured. Kids NEED that in their moms! You sound like a bright and strong woman, so you just have to keep believing in yourself and not letting the day to day stuff get you down.
We're all here for the purpose of supporting each other. Know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Yes. Get counceling and start researching your rights. Find a few attys. who give free consultations and see what they have to say. Don't walk totally away from this until you have looked at what is rightfully yours.
Once common law is established almost every state will recognize it as a valid marriage. So start doing your research because you don't want to lose your right to what is rightfully yours and your childs.
1.Stick to your guns,like you did with the truck good girl btw on that 1.
2.Protect you and your son at all costs.
3.seek legal advice i think trisha is right on that 1.
4.Seek counseling,they can be a great sounding board,as well as an asset if the need does arise to go to court.
5.Vent all you want here,always here to listen,to try and help,and maybe give you some pointers along the way,Take Care and keep us posted.(((HUGS)))
As much as I 'm glad that I don't have to deal with my X husbands issues. its still a strugle for me to get used to single/single parent life I have my good days and bad days. I just hope that I can move on and find happiness, I hope you will as well.
The second time I had no idea that he had an affair. One day I thought I had a happy marriage (16 + years) and the next day he had left. This time I returned to Manhattan as I regarded this "home" . The problem was that we had been happy there and I had many memories. Now, sixteen years later, I'm sorry that I did not move to a place where I had no memories of us together. I think, if you can, you should consider moving away from the apartment you shared, possibly to another city (if you have at least a friend there) all my divorced friends agree, that makes it easier. I was financially not able to do this and I live now (in DC) in the same condo we shared and which I got as settlement in lieu of support. However, it's a beautiful place with a pool, so I'm counting my blessings. I hope you can make soon a new life for yourself, but be careful, the first love after a break-up often does not work out.
The best of wishes for a happy life to you and your child.
You have dodged a bullet. Try to distance yourself as much as you can from his brand of craziness, and document any and all dealings you have with him from now on (as you did with the truck - good job!).
Look forward and try not to waste much time understanding the insane.
just keep telling yourself you are better off--- good luck