Life After Divorce Support Group
This community is dedicated to starting over after a divorce. With the marriage over, how do individuals begin a new chapter in their lives and what hurdles do they face? Divorce is often one of the most traumatic periods in a person's life. Studies show it is the second-most stressful event in life, after the death of a spouse.
My exhusband is a complete narcissist. I didn't know what that was until I ready an article about it. The article explained very well what that type of behavior was and it helped me understand better.
However, I've been divorced for 2 years now and the ex continues to hang over me like a dark cloud. My parenting plan is not the worst, but still terrible. I had to switch lawyers cause the first one didn't give me the best advice. My new lawyer even commented on how my parenting plan wasn't normal.
The ex frequently has his own interpretation of the parenting plan no matter how clear it is that he is wrong. If I happen to disagree, he takes me to court over it. I do not have the time or money to keep going to court time after time.
It has been a constant problem with him to file a motion against me and then wait months before actually setting a hearing date.
This parenting plan and the ex are causing me so much anxiety. I see a wonderful counselor, but that still sometimes isn't enough.
How can I deal with this for the next 16+ years?
Does anyone else have experience with this and do you have advice on how to cope?
However, I've been divorced for 2 years now and the ex continues to hang over me like a dark cloud. My parenting plan is not the worst, but still terrible. I had to switch lawyers cause the first one didn't give me the best advice. My new lawyer even commented on how my parenting plan wasn't normal.
The ex frequently has his own interpretation of the parenting plan no matter how clear it is that he is wrong. If I happen to disagree, he takes me to court over it. I do not have the time or money to keep going to court time after time.
It has been a constant problem with him to file a motion against me and then wait months before actually setting a hearing date.
This parenting plan and the ex are causing me so much anxiety. I see a wonderful counselor, but that still sometimes isn't enough.
How can I deal with this for the next 16+ years?
Does anyone else have experience with this and do you have advice on how to cope?
my kids were older so maybe the "plan" matters less
regardless, i don't care about the plan, i rent as best i can, i don't try to co-parent with my children's narcissist mother, as i've learned there is no "co" with a narcissist
how can you cope? accept that he'll take you to court no matter what you do, document everything but mostly fight to stay who you are
you kid(dos) need you to be you, remember that and the strength will come
IMHO, the ex is controlling what goes on by constantly filing these motions. I would be anxious too, that's the point of why the ex's is doing this. I would do all I have to do stop all of these court dates. This will take work on your part by immediately writing down the discussions so that you don't forget. Present this info to your attorney and the court. No, I can't see you doing this for 16 yrs and you shouldn't have to.
If the parenting plan is not working maybe, you need to renegotiate a new one that will work. Situations and needs change so the plan may need to be updated. As time goes by you will learn coping mechanisms to deal with the ex. Wishing you and your children the best!
Trying to compromise on the parenting plan might work temporarily. Beating him in court each time might work better. Start asking that he pay your court cost. Make sure he is filing over things he can't possibly win.
It took three contempt hearings over six years to convince the ex he really needed to leave me alone. The last two years have been peaceful and not a word from him.
We didn't have kids to fight over so my situation was a bit different. Document everything involving the children and assume you will be in court again. The judgesxwill get tired of seeing him and if you ask they might award you Atty fees.
It will be hard but you can do this.