I wrote about this in my journal but wanted to open it up. My divorce was just final and 2 of my 3 kids exploded and lashed out. One, in middle school, said she hated me, trashed the bedroom, said I was a bad mother, etc. This child held it together for 2 years pretty well, but what lashing out! Their father never used to do much of anything with them but now he takes them bowling and to putt putt and is a real good time dad while only giving us $250/mo c.s. because he decided a few years ago that he doesn't LIKE to work f/t. He hasn't applied for a single F/t job in over 4 years. He cheated on me, had me pay nearly every bill for a long time and now lives with the girl(who is just 10 years older than my oldest). The kids have a lot of anger towerd him but it is always directed at ME . For him they behave and even are pleasant to the gf. It drives me crazy. I get no respect and I am the one paying for school and insurance and food and doing laundry, etc. I have been told that kids will take out their abger on the one who A) is more available and B) that they trust won't leave them. It is so much worse than I thought it would be. My oldest won't talk to their father now and he blames me for all of her decsions. He wants her in his life but hasn't given a dime toward her support even though she is mildly disabled. She doesn't understand why her siblings who are younger spend time w their dad even though I say the they must by law. They still want him in their lives and go out of their way not to rock the boat. It is so painful. People tell me that whenthey are older they will understand and appreciate the differences, but right now I have nightmares about my X walking a child down the aisle at her wedding and ME being stuck with the whole bill