My oldest did not even see her father for over half a year after he moved in with his lover last fall. (She has some developmental issues, mild, but doesn't understand nuance and social situations well- which makes everything just so much more difficult with this divorce.)He had no time at all for the kids last year during summer and fall and instead did ALL of the usual outings with the OW instead of them. He even took that woman to a pumpkin farm for goodness sake! He went on a fall hike with her and not THEM! My oldest, especially, was furious and barely spoke with her father. I finally convinced her to go out for her birthday with him and siblings and to take the rides to school and other dinners or outings he offers he offers. She still doesn't forgive or understand him, but she is trying to have a relationship again, which is good. Now, though, she is screaming at ME because she wants to have him come over and hang out like old times, sit on the couch and watch a tv show with her in my living room and I said that I won't let him do that. He IS coming to her high school graduation party (she didn't want him coming to THAT even a week ago- and was furious with me because I compromised and said he can come here for an hour for the party- w/o girlfriend of course)Her father would like to watch tv with her, of course, but- to his credit- he DID say it was up to me. I think that he would love, though, to have free access to the house and drop-in priveleges and snuggle on the old couch with popcorn and his daughters. He hasn't had them over to his apt once yet because I refused to let them meet girlfriend until the divorce is final and SHE won't leave it for them to be alone there for an hour or two.The way I look at it is he knew full well that his relationship with them would be forever altered and he went ahead and picked the younger girlfriend over reconciling with me and staying with us. He went out this door with his eyes open, but he naively thought that the girls would just accept the divorce because it was making him happy to be with the new woman. He did not think it all through. I think he would LOVE to be able to be friends with me and hang out all together like before, but just keep living his new life with OW AT THE SAME TIME! He still crosses this threshold uninvited sometimes instead of waiting outside to pick up the kids. The few times I have left the house to let him be here with the children (like Xmas Eve or to pick up items)- he has wandered around here, used the computer, snooped... I cannot have that. I haven't once gone into HIS space. Why can't my daughter understand that it cannot be what it was and that she will have to get used to the way it is? My second daughter is protective of the first and she thought that I should just go ahead and let them watch tv for her sister's sake. She doesn't understand that I cannot allow it "just this once" because then they will ask again and again for dad to hang out here. I understand that they want it to be "as it was". It breaks my heart! But he wouldn't reconcile. He is still with the OW and our divorce is almost final. I would never take him back again, even if he were dumped (or should I say, ESPECIALLY if he gets dumped!)I even suggested that they watch the show with their dad at their cousin's house (neutral place), but she wants hime HOME. Will she really hold this against me? I know I am making the right decision. I just hate being made out to be "the bad guy". It is so hard to make a call like this, but I know we all have to carve out a new life and we cannot go back to what was. Please tell me I am right!