Life After Divorce Support Group
This community is dedicated to starting over after a divorce. With the marriage over, how do individuals begin a new chapter in their lives and what hurdles do they face? Divorce is often one of the most traumatic periods in a person's life. Studies show it is the second-most stressful event in life, after the death of a spouse.
For those of you who dont know my story...here it is....
http://www.dailystrength.org/people/3039556/journal/6564780
My divorce is finalized. I have been breaking down since. Not because I still love him but because I have a failed marriage at the age of 26. I tried so hard, I really did and nothing was good enough, All my friends are out there dating and I am here...divorced, how am i ever going to date someone and tell them im divorced?...
I am still in the same place I was 3 months ago, 1 year ago. Yet, he is with another woman who he takes to all his family functions. How is it possible that he can just forget 6 years together and then 1 month after separating...he find someone new...
I texted him telling him that I am very sad about how things turned out and that I wish him nothing but the best... and all he wrote back was "I dont care"
I have placed my hurt in pain in God but sometimes i wonder why i feel he is unfair sometimes. Here is the man who cheated, left and hurt me so badly, here he is with someone else. I am not saying i want someone in the moment but why does he get to have the comfort of someone else when I am the one thats hurting? why?
http://www.dailystrength.org/people/3039556/journal/6564780
My divorce is finalized. I have been breaking down since. Not because I still love him but because I have a failed marriage at the age of 26. I tried so hard, I really did and nothing was good enough, All my friends are out there dating and I am here...divorced, how am i ever going to date someone and tell them im divorced?...
I am still in the same place I was 3 months ago, 1 year ago. Yet, he is with another woman who he takes to all his family functions. How is it possible that he can just forget 6 years together and then 1 month after separating...he find someone new...
I texted him telling him that I am very sad about how things turned out and that I wish him nothing but the best... and all he wrote back was "I dont care"
I have placed my hurt in pain in God but sometimes i wonder why i feel he is unfair sometimes. Here is the man who cheated, left and hurt me so badly, here he is with someone else. I am not saying i want someone in the moment but why does he get to have the comfort of someone else when I am the one thats hurting? why?
Have you considered counseling? In addition to seeing a therapist, you might consider attending a rebuilding workshop (www.rebuilding.org). It's a group that meets once a week for 12 weeks. They have guest speakers who are mostly counselors and clergy who do presentations based on the book Rebuilding by Dr. Bruce Fisher. Then there are small group discussions after. It's very inexpensive and it really helps the mourning & healing process.
Also, there is another 12 week group, www.divorcecare.com that is Non-denominational & Bible based. They use videos, workbooks & group discussions. I personally found that the Rebuilding group offered a more well rounded healing process that included one's faith than the divorcecare did. But that's JMHO.
I know it's no comfort right now, but he will cheat on her and he will most likely not change. That is part of the fantasy we hold on to - worrying about what if he's different w/her. He won't be. It's not you. It's him. He's the one that is messed up, not you.
The ex just married wife #3. Wife #2 divorced him shortly after they married for the same reasons I divorced him. And he was w/wife # 3 before the ink was dry on their divorce papers. Just like your ex, they don't do their work. They just move on to the next one.
Please take good care of you and allow yourself to feel your feelings and get some counseling to help you thru the grief process and to rebuild your self-esteem.
Jgarc, it has also been 1 year and 3 months for me too. My ex cheated and is actually with the girl now. The only difference is my ex does care and is remorseful for his actions. He is hurting just as much as me, if not more, because he knows that he caused our marriage to end. Despite him being nice and remorseful, it still hurts me like hell. I too feel life has been unfair. I honestly know I did all I could and there is nothing I could have done differently to prevent the divorce. As far as dating, there are plenty of men who still want to date me knowing that I am divorced so know that won't be a huge issue. I wouldn't worry about this now though. You will need some time to grieve before any serious dating.
26 is VERY YOUNG! You have your whole life ahead of you! And HALF of all marriages end in divorce so being divorced is no big shame.
I highly recommend a divorce support group.many churches sponsor them or look up MASH online and see if there's a group in your area.
You are not alone. It is not your fault. You are not a loser or a failure - HE IS!! Divorce does a number on our self esteem and it takes time and work on your part with a support group and or therapist to rebuild your confidence, but you will!!
In the end you will realize that you are lucky you didn't waste more time on such a cold, mean, heartless loser. he didn't even have the class to say thank you.
I'm sorry you're in so much pain.