I've been with him almost 2yrs and I'm finally leaving. I've been moving a load of my things every morning to storage then work, home, and repeat. I'm exhausted. He goes back and forth between being okay with me going and saying we can be friends and he understands to dragging me through the mud verbally and throwing things. I'm just having a hard time processing what's happened and what's happening now.
Is this what they mean when they say sometimes you have to "Deprogram" yourself? I'm sitting in a gas station parking lot at night because I ran out of a one sided screaming match and I can finally see the absurdity of it. Why have I jumped through all these stupid hoops for peace with this guy?
I'm sorry I don't have anyone to talk to, I don't have any friends here and my family is gone. I just feel lost and I'm trying to start over but I keep thinking I'm making to big a deal of it. He makes me feel like I'm being sensitive and naive but I'm sticking to my guns but I just feel all over the place and confused and tired.
-
I accidentally deleted a journal entry that I wish I hadn't. Is there any way to get it back?
-
Instead of going to work I slept in until 11 am Now I'm treating myself at McAllister's to a Spud Max. When I go back tomorrow it will be Friday!
There is no way to win a screaming match with words said in anger.... The other person will always think he is right even if he is blatantly wrong, and it sounds like you came to that conclusion.
There are some other groups here which are more active and you will get more support. The loneliness is one of them. Here is the link:
https://www.dailystrength.org/group/loneliness
Check out the other groups as well by clicking on "My Groups" in the green bar at the top of the page.