You know as many people may ask, why did a seemingly normal kid from northern california with a learning disibility join a group about lying. Let me explain, I originally joined this group because I had plagerised an assignment in my Ecology class and was caught cheating and made it worse by lying. You see many people think when you escape a lie, you are home free, and as a human who has escaped quite a lot I konw what that's like. But today you see I got an email from the Lab Higher Up, that I was going to recieve a zero on the assignment and have the incident reported to the Dean of Students office. It's the equivalent of being a situation where the decision of the dean could mean academic suicide. And I sit here waiting for the punnishment, I almost feel a sense of gratitude that I'm finally getting punnished. You see before March 31st, 2020, I was lying to my dad, my mom, my sister, my step-mom, my grandma, my uncle, my aunt, my cousins, my therapist, my psychatrist, my friends, my teachers, and of course myself. And its funny because I was just talking to my mom last Sunday, about how funny of a comedian I thought Jeff Ross was, what I realize is I am now doing what was done to me to sooth my struggling self-worth. You see for those of you who don't know Jeff Ross is a roast comedian who makes fun of every aspect of a person from their looks to their capabilities. And I thought that was funny, and this is because I was once the butt of every joke and I was once the kid who everyone laughed at not with. I tried throw a party for my entire eighth grade class, because I wanted so badly for cool kids to like me. You see when I went to school, I thought I was the class clown, what I didn't realize were kids were laughing at me not with me. So what do I do, I go to a new high school and join a social skills class at UCLA, I learn the right thing to say, the right thing to do, and the right response, I go back to high school do that and bam I'm liked, not knowing how inwardly traumatizing this was for a kid who just wanted to be himself. Anyway the right response quickly turns into small lies, big lies, and even bigger lies, but by this point I am a celebrity. I feel so good I leave my former high school, and go back to the high school where all the kids made fun of me in 8th grade. So now I'm back I'm skinny not fat, great pair of glasses, humorous when needed and that's it, now I am beloved at this school, all the kids that once laughed at me love me. Again I'm not feeling good, but my ego is growing. Anyway long story short, this all culminates with prom, the biggest night of the year for a high schooler. I bring a date, not even sure if I'm at the stage where I am even ready to ask a girl out. I get so many ooos and awws, and now I've made it I've shown the kids who laughed at me, that I cleaned up my act and am no joke. That Monday, after prom is greatest day of my life, every girl cannot get over the date I brought calling me the star of prom, every guy can't get over the girl I landed. I'm now in the moon. So what do I do, I ruin it by telling people, she gave me head, bringing us full circle, to right now. You see I thought I was winning, getting the good looks, all the people who doubted me like me and yet I still had to say the thing about her giving me a blowjob, why, because I wasn't really satisified. Because I never was satisfied and only would be if I analyzed my self worth. You see my ego and self worth were going in opposite directions, and that's why I began to lie to everyone, oh it works for school, let's try it on dad or mom, or step-mom, or therapist, oh I get praise, Oh wow, let's do it in an even higher risk situation, and now I am caught. So much for all those gasps at prom if now cheater is the only thing on my resume. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I am grateful for getting caught