Chris, I'm sure many of us here have been in the same place as you. I know I have, my lies came close to blowing my family apart. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and I had suicidal thoughts, both before and after my lying was exposed. It's nearly 18 months since that time, and whilst it has been a very difficult period at times, there has been a lot of relief in facing up to the lies I have told and admitting them both to myself and to my husband. I'm very fortunate to still have him, and although there have been times when he really wanted to leave because he just needed to find some solid ground, he has stayed and worked with me.

Doing the right thing can seem like the hardest thing in the world to do when you are used to lying. It's hard to be honest when it seems easier to lie. However, there is the saying that the longest journey starts with a single step. Lying about big things will become more difficult when you are honest about small things. Talking to your wife is really important. Telling her about things you struggle with will help her understand your battles. I would think it is more difficult for you as a man to explain your feelings of fear - but she does need to know how you are feeling so that she can try to understand how you are feeling and to help you. Being honest about your feelings can be very hard, but it's a good place to start. Keeping it bottled up when you feel depressed isn't healthy. It took me about three months to tell my husband about my depression, but as soon as I told him how I was feeling he was there to help me. Sometimes we feel more like crawling into a hole than telling people how we feel.

I really hope things get better for you. You really can get through this and come out as a stronger person. Keep going and stay strong.