Well, I am often inspired by coming on to this board every so often to read y'alls posts, and yet again I was inspired tonight. I come on here a lot hoping to help newcomers and old timer's a lot, but I often forget to post on my progress and how I'm doing as well. So here goes.

I am very happy. I love myself and respect myself. Most of the time I take care of myself like I should. Sometimes I don't and when I do I almost instantly revert to old behaviors, but that's why I love to come back here so much to remind me that I can make better choices, everyday.

My boyfriend and I moved to Colorado almost 6 months ago and I can't believe how fast time is going by here. We are loving the change of pace of life and coming out here has really opened up a new chapter of life for me that I struggled with back in Virginia career wise. Just within the last 2 months I've started going back to school to get my Master's in a program that I think is perfect for me and I am in a job that I love, and volunteering with an organization that I love. I am meeting real people who accept me for who I am and I am being healthy all the while.

But my favorite part about my life is the manageability in my relationships. Just two days ago I had an amazing phone conversation with my ex-partner who I was in a very difficult and very verbally, and emotionally abusive relationship with when I first started my recovery and started this group four years ago. After a very long hard beginning to my recovery I eventually got strong enough to see that being with her was never going to let me get better. Not because either of us were bad people, but because our relationship was broken beyond repair with who we were in that time. Our underlying love for each other beyond the issues at hand was just not enough. Counseling, Al-Anon, journaling, a lot of reading, a lot of meditating, and a lot of posting on here all have helped me get to where I am today.

I along the way met an amazing man whom I hope to spend the rest of my days with who I was honest with in the beginning of our relationship about who I was and what my past issues have been but how i deal with them now. He decided to love me anyways, and everyday it's a choice to be honest. I never take that for granted. The second I do is the second I could slip.

I am so grateful to be able to have friendships with almost all my past ex's. They are able to validate how much change I have gone through while still knowing the core things about me that haven't changed. They are always appreciate about the fact that I loved myself enough eventually that I chose to get better. My heart can't get any bigger I think each time I talk with most recent ex. When we decided to go our separate ways I had no clue that we could ever function as friends, or any kind of relationship because there was so much pain. But walking away from that relationship was the best thing I have ever done, and in turn I have after a little while received the best gift from it that I could have ever expected: her friendship. I wouldn't change a thing, as much as I hurt her, if it meant not having the relationship we have now.

Moral of the story? As much as it may hurt to let go of "the one" or someone you love so much, the gifts you can get from that process can be worth it. You'll gain the friendship and love of the most important person, you, and I can promise that that is the most attractive thing to anyone ever.

Thank you everyone for helping me get to this wonderful part in my recovery. My heart's about to burst tonight and I wish so badly for as many of you as possible to be able to come to the conference next year because I want to hold all of your faces in my hands and tell you thank you and that I love you and you all are amazing. Okay, enough sappiness for tonight. Let's make it an honest day tomorrow everyone shall we?

With all the love in the world,

Laura O.