Liars Anonymous Community Group

A support group to provide those with a compulsive addiction to lie a place to share hope, strength and courage with others like them; solve our common problem and help others with a compulsion to lie. We aren't alone!

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strategies for catching lies?

actuality
actuality

I'm not having great success staying (or even getting on!) the wagon here -- I've built lies as a defense mechanism so deeply into my being that the more anxious I get about the impact of my lies on others (particularly my loved ones), the _more_ I seem to lie to try to make myself feel better--even while stopping lying is a central goal of mine right now.  So the cycle seems to be deepening for me, at least right now, not lessening.


I have to say that it is truly remarkable to see how regularly I do lie, in all its various forms -- as someone put it here recently: "I love lying," as a way to admit its hold on us.


At any rate, I'm writing to see if there are any good suggestions about how to catch oneself and admit that I just lied, or a lie was about to come out, or that a lie is forming. At least for those moments where I'm more conscious of lying, I believe I have the opportunity to stop the lie and admit it, but I'm still at the point where it takes someone else to point it out.  I'd like to shift that so that I can be more proactive, but I'm not having much luck with good techniques...any suggestions would be so immensely appreciated!


gwilly
gwilly
It is a hard thing. What works best for me is to examine everything that starts to come out of my mouth, and make sure it's true. You have to slow down your rate of talking, but it really helps to examine it and change it if it's not true.
Bigfoot
Bigfoot
I find it is helpful to journal about the reasons that I lie. That creates in me an awareness of these situations that are danger zones for me. I can then slow down and be intentional about either removing myself from that Situation or being intentional about honesty. Try writing down the reasons that you will lie. It might help.
Wraith85
Wraith85
My wife pointed out something that often works for me. If you feel guilty about anything you say, or unusually uncomfortable, then you are likely lying in one form or the other. That, and when you react defensively are two times that are relatively easy to know that you are lying. Another one is if you have to justify your train of thought to make what you say sound more true, then chances are you either made it up or are exaggerating.
actuality
actuality
Thank you for your thoughts! It's certainly helpful to know that there are so many others like me out there -- so many of us stuck in these habits, and so many trying to break the cycle. Your comments are very helpful -- thanks for taking the time to read what I posted and to craft a reply. I'm still struggling though this one -- those moments when I feel guilty because I've just lied or feel like I need to are the ones that keep tripping me up. erg.