I'm glad that's working for you and was positive. I went to therapy once but I wasn't completely honest with the therapist. She actually told me I had signs of antisocial personality and psychopathic tendencies. I tried going to a different therapist who I was completely honest with and she didn't think there was anything wrong with me. I've been super resistant to trying therapy again. If you don't mind my asking, how did you find your therapist? What do you feel was the catalyst to your lying?

I found my therapist through my insurance provider. She seems very good at listening and making valid observations without placing blame or guilt, which in this situation is very important. She specializes in addiction therapy, which I think is important jn this situation. As to the catalyst to my lying, I'm pretty sure it goes back to when I was a little kid. Probably started as a defense mechanism, but evolved into a habit.

@ Jtea and MCCparker11-

I'm very happy that the therapy is working for both of you thus far. And I pray for both of you that it continues to. I just make the statement- that I have found that one of the most important parts of moving forward and healing is being honest with yourself and those around you outside the therapist office - my lying too started back when I was a kid trying to make myself look better to others and then just continued to spiral out of control into every aspect of my life.

I have found thus far that actually saying it outloud here...and sharing it with others in the same boat so to speak has been quite helpful. But I've also found that saying it outloud to myself and right now to my husband has been beneficial. Actually "hearing it" and admitting to it - can make a difference - Id love to hear your thoughts on it as well...stay strong friends!

What steps did she recommend?

@ MCCparker11

I have the same question as DrBerke. What did your therapist recommend you do to help with your lying addiction? I think we're all looking for possible solutions, a guide

So upon our initial conversation, going over my background, parents, relationships etc. We determined that my lying may have stemmed from a connection to my biological father. My mom and he devorced when I was six months old. From then until five I saw him three times, and then then I didn't see him again until I was twelve. My memory of seeing him was he was always bigger than life and lived this fantastic life as an artist in Chicago. She thi KS that this imprinted on me that I needed to model that behavior and that the lying came from trying to emulate that bigger than life personna. I believed that he was always a part of my life we were just separated by distance. The truth that I am facing and working on is that he was not in my life, and all but abandoned me until I was in my teens. I am also coming to grips with the truth that he was just as full of shit as I have been. So the first step we are working on is mending the deep wound that this has caused. Working on being honest with myself about what really happened with my father. The fact is, and I have accepted this truth, the first person I ever lied to was myself.

I'm finding that the more I acknowledge this and I'm honest with myself, the easier it is to be honest with other people. Better to know who you are not, than who you think you should be.

So far this has been the first step. She also thinks that this, combined with moving around a lot as a kid, Nine times by the time I was fourteen, were all contributing factors that built the habit of lying.

There is much more work to be done, but that is where we are starting.

I guess to answer the question asked a bit more specifically, she feels that most lying addictions and tendencies stem from some traumatic event when a person is young, possibly as a defence mechanism. She feels that the first step is to try and identify that circumstance/circumstances as the root cause of the habit and work forward from there to create a more positive and successful action plan to change the habit.

The therapist makes sense in terms of how to look at it in terms of where it started, However, I would question - depending your personal position at this time - If it is emergent what do you do in the current? Lying can be destroying your life every day, how do you work with that to try to mitigate the damage?