Liars Anonymous Community Group

A support group to provide those with a compulsive addiction to lie a place to share hope, strength and courage with others like them; solve our common problem and help others with a compulsion to lie. We aren't alone!

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kcpandol
kcpandol

Like a lot of others here I have reached a point where I just can't lie anymore. My partner can't take it anymore, and I can see that any more lying will permanently damage my life and my self esteem. I lie about my motives and feelings quite a bit, and this has really damaged the trust in my relationship, tortured my partner, and makes me feel like a bad person. I don't know anyone else who deals with this, it's one of those things you can't really admit or share with other people. I feel a lot of shame about this. I don't really have anything important to say here, I just thought taking the step of joining and posting was important. I got two hours of sleep last night because of a fight with my partner over my lies. I need to stop, but it feels really defeating. When I get caught with something like I wasn't listening but I'm pretending I was, or I'm upset about something and say that I'm not, I just pile on more lies and I have a really hard time coming clean. It's so bad that I convince myself I am coming clean when I'm still lying. I've damaged my sense of reality and trust in myself. Glad to find this community, thanks for reading. 

jfonnyadt
jfonnyadt
I’m in the same situation. It’s so much easier lie to my wife than to deal with any situation, no matter how small. I’m loosing her because of it and it terrifies me that it might be to late. I need to make some serious changes now or I’m not sure what I’ll do. Why is it so easy to lie than to say the truth, I can’t understand that!
Ash_Amed
Ash_Amed
I read your post and I relate so much I could probably convince myself that I wrote it. When I am asked if something is wrong ? I just reply "nothing why?" I
don't feel safe telling my feelings and I keep them in because I'm afraid if I say what is on my mind that it will start an argument. Just yesterday I was called a cancer to our relationship that seems about right.
jfonnyadt
jfonnyadt
It’s crazy. I just had a shower and was timkjmgn of lies to tell to quickly fix the situation. I started to think part of it is I lie to pump my self up because I don’t like who I am. I’ll act all egotistical and want to be the center of attention by lying to over compensate and it’s effecting those around me. I don’t know maybe I’m grasping at straws, I hope that I can make sense out of my lying. Do any of you feel that way or thinknits the reason why? I’m lost
kcpandol
kcpandol
This stuff really sucks, but at least we can support each other here. I’ve gone two days being completely genuine and it feels so much better than lying. I’m terrified that I’ll go back to lying once the fights are far enough behind us. I want to make a lasting change. One thing that helped me was my partner said I’ve maxed out lying for a whole lifetime, but I’ve got plenty of credit in other areas, so there’s no pressure to be perfect. In other words, when I want to lie I can think, actually it’s ok if I messed this up, no need to lie about it. And the lying is the real thing to mess up, so even if I did this thing badly I’m still clean unless I lie about it. I hope you guys can get over this and I would like to hear about what has helped you all. Talking openly about this has helped me understand how bad it is and start to really examine it.
jfonnyadt
jfonnyadt
As soon as I think we’re making progress my wife brings up things from the past that she questions if I lied about. Even if I didn’t there’s no convincing her I didn’t, lying has broken her trust. I think the only thing I can do is try to be truthful each day and have her see the change. It’s at the worst point in our relationship so all I can do is try to be truthful day by day. Today as soon as I woke up I said I’ll be truthful today. Just hope all is not lost
kcpandol
kcpandol
Day by day is all I can really do too. It's really hard to face all the damage I've done, especially because part of the problem is refusing to face things. When I'm confronted with mistakes I've made, my automatic reaction is to reconstruct the situation so that I'm not really at fault, and it looks like an innocent error. Because of that, I've let it go on for years and I've never taken it seriously enough to turn my back on it for good. I hope you can get through to the other side on this. If it helps, know that there is someone else out there tackling the same challenge.
jfonnyadt
jfonnyadt
Thanks it’s good to know there’s people I can talk to. I’ve been looking all day to find support groups but where I live but there is nothing available for compulsive lying. It’s unbelievable actually.
actuality
actuality
One day at a time -- one _hour_ at a time, even, seems the way to go. But it takes so much mental energy that its easy to get exhausted from the concentration. That's when I fall back into lying -- when I've expended my supply of energy needed to be constantly aware of the problem. Admitting it has full control over me is the piece I keep struggling with as a liar, but ultimately I believe that's where is has to start -- maybe you've come to this same point.