Liars Anonymous Community Group

A support group to provide those with a compulsive addiction to lie a place to share hope, strength and courage with others like them; solve our common problem and help others with a compulsion to lie. We aren't alone!

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mccarthy 03/05/2017

I have an inferiority complex when it comes to standing next to my sibling, friends or anyone i think is better than me. In most cases the complex has no real cause to it but i make it in my mind that the other person is better than me whether it be in academics, work or relationship with the opposite sex. Then I lie every time to my family and friends, exaggerating my achievements and making up stories to sound impressive even if i dont have to do so. I have a healthy family and social circle, and i am well liked and doing well but i still cant get rid of this complex and now I am like a compulsive lier, lying every time without even thinking about the consequences if i am caught in my lie, which I have been in some cases. I am trying to lose this compulsion to lie and sometimes i am able to stop but then i go back to square one. I cant speak to my friends and family about this as they all think of me as a confiden person but that not true in reality. I am very confused as welll as weak in reality, unable to face this inferiority complex which is of my own making and which i cover up by lying to all around me.

emkay 03/05/2017

I know how you feel. It's not easy to talk to anyone about it.

gwilly 03/10/2017

Hi McCarthy. I read your post and I have many of the same issues you describe. I have so damaged my relationship with my wife with my lies and have been doing it for many years. I am lucky she has stayed with me and is helping me to overcome these things. I have learned a few things about myself over time, that I am selfish, have ego issues, that I want to appear to be the guy who can do it all, and when I can't or don't, have lied about it. This has caused significant financial issues along with scaring my wife to death, making here feel taken for granted, and many other things. I remember this TV show from years ago called "Father Knows Best" where the dad seemed like he could handle everything, and I thought I should be able to do the same. I came to the realization that this was a flawed concept, that no one can do everything on his own, and that the show was promoting a bad idea, and that I had to get the "Father Knows Best" idea out of my head. Over time and from many discussions about my issues, I started to see that I missed parts of the show where the father discussed things and mad decisions in conjunction with his wife, and that if he could do a thing, afford a thing, or learned a better idea from his wife, he went that direction instead of forcing the first idea on everyone or lying about it. Now, after that long diatribe, and thinking of all the damage I have done with my lying, I think that the thing we have to do is figure out who we are (liar, jerk, whatever) and accept it. Grasp this idea and hold on to it. Then, figure out who you want to be and start working on becoming that person. This will help you avoid feeling like you have to lie about things by saying inside yourself "I'm not there yet, but I'm working on it". Then you you can be truthful about yourself, "let the chips fall where they may", and avoid piling another load of negativity about yourself on top of you, and feel better. I kind of went on a little long, but that's my 2cents, of maybe 4 cents, on the subject.

kevinc00 03/12/2017

gwilly - I could have written that post. I'm in a very similar boat with my wife, who is ready to walk because of my lies. I feel the need to be that good guy, the guy who's got it all together when i get overwhelmed, i lie - everything is fine, no worries, it will all work out. Then I avoid, avoid avoid. And then lie about that. How have you worked on regaining the trust with your wife? That's exactly where I am at right now.
I know that i have to start by being truthful about myself and who I am, but where do I go from there?

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