Hey major pat on the back metaphorically obviously for joining this group, whatever problems, you may have burned bridges in the past, but today is a new day. And we are happy to have you in our presence and will work as much as we can with you to help you overcome this. Marriage is hard and there are a lot factors that go into a relationship, realizing the honest feeling underneath which often come out as a mannerism of low self esteem is critical to understand.

Thank you for your response. I look forward to engaging with everyone as we go through this journey. I want to be a better person who can be trusted by others to be truthful.

Hi Texlen,
I really relate with your issue, especially when you say "I tell myself every day not to lie. Yet it still happens in the panic of a moment." This is a serious problem for myself as well. And so often its something as silly as acting like I know a particular actress when I really don't. Then, when called out, the panic of the moment keeps me from seeing that I really did lie about it and then become defensive. Do you have any suggestions on books you might have read? I too am looking for help with this issue. It's nice to see I'm not alone.

Texlen,

I know that when I lie it is out of fear or the need to not want to disappoint others. I have never addressed my issue until now at the age of 43. We have to try to get to the issue and root of why we lie before we can address the action. What I have done is taken some to time to really think about what the root of my issue is. I also have to realize that God detests lying as a sin so instead of focusing on how it makes others feel I have to focus on how it make God feel. Once we right our wrong with Him we can begin to move forward and heal. Hang in there, everyday is a new day.

DoneWithLying. I have read and am re-reading a book called “Radical Honesty” by Brad Blanton. It is a great book that gives you tools to understand why you lie and how to put an end to it. Like anything else, you have to constantly work at it. As my post states, I failed again recently but am committed to change.

The previous message was intended for DWhitney.

@ Texten

I want to say as with everyone else - you are not alone. This is a horrible addiction and has the potential to ruin so many things work, relationships and life in general. I have been dealing with this for the past 20 years - my family and I are estranged because I have lied about so many things and my marriage of 7 years with a man that I love dearly is also on the rocks - i've lied over the stupidest things and also some bad things. The last time it happened (2 weeks ago) he took off his ring threw at me said its either the lies stop or divorce - and I was on the couch for 10 days. I've admitted to myself over the years that I have a problem and each time i get in trouble I always say I'm going to stop and then it happens again. This last one - I think was the final straw. So, I now every single day I wake up and pray, then I started a journal an entry in the morning of my thoughts and an entry in the evening writing down anything that I thought about saying was it a lie? And I do my best now that before I open my mouth to say ANYTHING even yes or no I think is what I'm going to say a lie? If it is, I don't say anything. And trust me it's not easy - and it does slip. BUT I swore to my husband that I'm making an effort to stop - You've already made the first step, admit to yourself, next try to say to your spouse "I know I have a problem, but I'm going to do everything possible to stop." show your effort - it might help. Feel free to message

Man @jk1228 your story is almost exact....My last lie was about 2 weeks ago...I lied about a bill that I'd paid late and money being mishandled. I wanted to tell the truth so bad and I couldn't....he was so angry. We didn't sleep in the bed together or even abide in the same room for about 10 days as well. It was horrible...I have to say that I am glad he exposed me because this issue with lying has been haunting me since I was a kid. I too have been journaling and doing daily devotionals on what God says about lying...they are been amazing. Hang in there and thank you all for sharing your thoughts and hardships...this is really another way for us to heal.