Liars Anonymous Community Group
A support group to provide those with a compulsive addiction to lie a place to share hope, strength and courage with others like them; solve our common problem and help others with a compulsion to lie. We aren't alone!
I don't know how long I have been lying, but I know it has been easy for me to do for uite some time now. I have never really cared before, but now I have an amazing boyfriend and I don't want to lose him so I need to quit lying.
Most of my lies were always small and insignificant, from no mom I don't have homework when I did all the way up to telling my (now ex) husband that I was working late when in fact I was going to see someone else.
The man I am with now I love to death and don't want to lie to him, but I seem to keep screwing up no matter how hard I try. He knows about the lies I told my exhusband as he is the guy I went to see. So when he catches me lying its 10xs worse caz he thinks I am cheating on him which I am not (and that is not a lie). I just want to make his and my life so perfect that when I know that something I am going to say is going to upset him I either "forget" to tell him until he finds out or I make up some excuse.
I know it needs to stop and I want to stop, but I'm afraid that since I have been doing it for so long its going to take me longer to stop than he has the patience for.
Most of my lies were always small and insignificant, from no mom I don't have homework when I did all the way up to telling my (now ex) husband that I was working late when in fact I was going to see someone else.
The man I am with now I love to death and don't want to lie to him, but I seem to keep screwing up no matter how hard I try. He knows about the lies I told my exhusband as he is the guy I went to see. So when he catches me lying its 10xs worse caz he thinks I am cheating on him which I am not (and that is not a lie). I just want to make his and my life so perfect that when I know that something I am going to say is going to upset him I either "forget" to tell him until he finds out or I make up some excuse.
I know it needs to stop and I want to stop, but I'm afraid that since I have been doing it for so long its going to take me longer to stop than he has the patience for.
My hopes and thoughts are with you in your struggle.
As of today, I have lost I only person I ever thought I could spend the rest of my life with. I'm 51 and I never met anyone who was so perfect and, most of all, a really good, Honest person. She gave up her life to be with me and she truly loved me. She has given me all the chances she's going to give me- she knows the meaning of insanity!!!
While it's too late for us, I want to be able to 'fix things'...or at least be able to get a handle on this problem so that maybe, just maybe, one day, she'll know how much I really do love her.
The only thing I do know about this...5 years ago to this day, I went to rehab for drinking and coke. While my problem paled in comparison to most, I will say that, no matter the degree of our usage, we all were there for the very same reason. We didn't like ourselves. Simple. Right? Funny thing, today I realized while I may have stopped drinking etc, the trigger that started it all is the same. The one problem the program didn't "fix" was the very problem that was at the bottom of all of this. I've been lying and shading the truth for so long I don't even know what is right anymore. Just when I think I've got "it" beat, I lie about something to ridiculous that I can't even believe I did it.
Enough rambling...thanks for reading this. I'm glad there's this site where I can see that perhaps I'm not alone.
I'll keep looking but if anyone has any suggestions, I'd appreciate your help!
Thanks!
I wish there was a group in Los Angeles. Like you said every other disease has one but not us. I guess we'll just have to be our own here even if it's only cyber.
To this day, I don't know of any LA meetings. My goal is to eventually try and get the ball rolling to get them organized, however, I feel that in order for them to work that there needs to be literature to support the meetings and that's why I am in the process of writing a book about our disease. If you would like to speed up this process, please feel free to send me your personal story to include in the book in my email.
In the meantime, JL, you're right, all addictions do have the same root cause, and that's why I strongly recommend in the interim trying to attend a local 12 step meeting like CODA (CoDependents Anonymous), Emotions Anonymous (EA), or Al-Anon. I've heard many stories from members of these groups being very accepting of our issues, and have received great help from attending these groups. You'll probably even find others with our issue in those groups as well because they address the issue of being honest with yourself. That's a huge part of any 12 step program, regardless of the issue.
Please see the links at the top right of this page to help you locate a meeting near you. Please feel free to message me directly if any of you have questions about which meeting would be best for you.
Laura
thanks
CG