That was incredibly hard for me to say.  I'm 48, married for 25 years and a liar for most of my life.  I've almost destroyed my marriage a few times with my lying.  It's incredible that she's still here and wants to help me.  I lie because I'm afraid that the truth will make someone angry with me and want to leave me.  I lie to make myself feel better about who I am.  I lie to hide the pain and the disgust I feel towards myself.  I lie because I grew up in a house where bad feelings were never discussed so I never learned to deal with them.  I just lie to hide them.  Basically I lie because I'm afraid.  Afraid I'm as ugly inside/outside as I think I am.  Afraid of conflict.  Afraid nobody can like/love me as I really am.  Afraid I can't be the person I want to be.  Afraid I can't be the person my wife and kids need me to be.  I've been in therapy for 2 years and it's really helped.  I thought I was doing so much better, that I had a handle on my life.  I cut my therapy sessions back and I stopped being vigilant.  All those ugly automatic thoughts about my worthlessness and the fear of my wife leaving me led me to lying again and the shit hit the fan.  I finally realized that compulsive lying is like alcoholism.  Alcoholics don't get better, they're always alcoholics.  Liars are always liars.  The key is constant vigilance, facing my fears everyday and trusting that the people who love me, really love me, support me, and want me to succeed.  With their help, and yours, I pray I can beat this addiction.  Thank you for listening.