Liars Anonymous Community Group
A support group to provide those with a compulsive addiction to lie a place to share hope, strength and courage with others like them; solve our common problem and help others with a compulsion to lie. We aren't alone!
This is the first time I have been back to this group in almost 6 or 7 months, and I must say I never thought I would see the membership go over a hundred people. But you all are the people who make this group what it is. More about that in my next post.
In the seven months since on this board I can't begin to tell you all how much has changed for me and my habit of lying. I'll try to be brief. As many of you may know I am an active member of Al-Anon, which is a 12-step support group for families and friends of alcoholics. My dad's drinking bother's me, and this group has helped so much, but I never knew that it would also help me with my lying. I think what I've read as a common thread throughout a lot of posts is that Lying is something that we do to protect our world of denial because somewhere along the line we learned it wasn't safe to live in reality. I have just started working the steps, and I wish each and everyone of you were in my groups so I could share face to face my strength, experience and hope with you. Here is what I want to share:
1) Since all compulsions/addictions are the same, and no Liars Anonymous exists in real life yet, I strongly, strongly urge anyone to try and attend a 12step meeting in your area of anykind; Al-Anon, AA, Codependents Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous, or any of the many other's out there. Just get yourself familiar with a program that has helped so many people of all kinds focus on themselves and get better.
2) The BIGGEST thing I have learned: I do NOT have enough self-will or self determination to FIX myself. Only with the help of a power greater than myself can I be relieved from my compulsion to lie and do other things to avoid reality. Please keep in mind I was an atheist before I joined Al-Anon, and still have been able to find a HP that has helped me so much with my lying.
3) There is help out there guys, we just have to learn to reach out. Staying in our own little world of denial does not change anything.
In the seven months since on this board I can't begin to tell you all how much has changed for me and my habit of lying. I'll try to be brief. As many of you may know I am an active member of Al-Anon, which is a 12-step support group for families and friends of alcoholics. My dad's drinking bother's me, and this group has helped so much, but I never knew that it would also help me with my lying. I think what I've read as a common thread throughout a lot of posts is that Lying is something that we do to protect our world of denial because somewhere along the line we learned it wasn't safe to live in reality. I have just started working the steps, and I wish each and everyone of you were in my groups so I could share face to face my strength, experience and hope with you. Here is what I want to share:
1) Since all compulsions/addictions are the same, and no Liars Anonymous exists in real life yet, I strongly, strongly urge anyone to try and attend a 12step meeting in your area of anykind; Al-Anon, AA, Codependents Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous, or any of the many other's out there. Just get yourself familiar with a program that has helped so many people of all kinds focus on themselves and get better.
2) The BIGGEST thing I have learned: I do NOT have enough self-will or self determination to FIX myself. Only with the help of a power greater than myself can I be relieved from my compulsion to lie and do other things to avoid reality. Please keep in mind I was an atheist before I joined Al-Anon, and still have been able to find a HP that has helped me so much with my lying.
3) There is help out there guys, we just have to learn to reach out. Staying in our own little world of denial does not change anything.
Thanks
It helps to explain alot about why we lie; what started this trend.
I congratulate you on your journey, and thank you for helping us on ours.
Thanks :)
In December I was a scum. I was lying to everyone around me, didn't want to really look for a job believing I had been created for "bigger things", making new debts and running into more and more trouble that could end in only one way - my Wife would left me, I would probably run into even bigger trouble, defended for some time by parents, but who knows how much would they resist. For sure I wouldn't find what I really want to do, I would waste more and more time and most probably I would wake up one day, sad and bitter, not knowing why everything went wrong and my life is such a swamp. After that memorable argument with my Wife I have sat to the computer and searched over the internet what's wrong with me. This was the only response and I realized I am not alone and that I really have a problem. Serious one. That only I can decide to change it although I can't do it alone. Yet it gave me hope - there are "others" that understand me and can help me focusing on a goal: no lying.
It's been tough time. But every day, every second was worth living. I'm far from the final goal, I know that. But I know the path now and I can follow it. I was trying to gather and keep here as many people as possible a bit due to my selfishness, knowing that the more people is here, the more support I will obtain. I believe I didn't do any harm to anyone, so I could allow myself that selfishness.
This group gave me strength in many, many situations. When I was so low, when I had to move out from my Wife, when I had problems with keeping to the truth - You, The Group - were here, and I could ask for help, or simply find one without asking. Sometimes it was a hug or a good word, I couldn't count for it anywhere else.
I still need this group. I had some break in being active, but I always read it, think about You and pray for You (whenever I remember to pray). I hope to be a bit more back now, more active again. Whoever needs help can ask me directly.
So again - thanks pablita, for this group, and for hope it gives to me and - I believe - all those who attend it.
Super big hugs to You and to everyone else too of course.
Keep spreading the Hope and Strength!
Laura
Greg