I’ve never done anything like this and I hope this is a step towards making a better life for myself. I’m here because I want to change for my girlfriend. I do want to change for myself because I don’t want to be a liar, but what’s more important to me is the wellbeing of my girlfriend and our relationship.

I’ve lied to her about everything from not telling her I was talking to an old girlfriend to buying things off the Internet. And the reason I never said anything was because I was both scared of how she’d react and also that I wanted to look like the good guy, like I wasn’t doing anything wrong. I’d never cheat on my girlfriend, I love her so much but I know if I’d only just been honest from the start and told her things that we wouldn’t be in this predicament.

My lying has given my girlfriend incredibly bad anxiety, she worries about everything I do and I don’t blame her. Every time I’ve been caught out for lying I’ve promised that I’ll change, that I’ll never do it again, but part of me has known that I’ll slip back into it. This time is different though; I want to take proactive steps towards putting an end to my lying. I’ve started a journal of lies, my girlfriend and I have come to an agreement that if I lie I have 24 hours to own up to what I’ve done and I’m taking online support groups. I’ve read that people can change, that compulsive lying isn’t forever and I want more than anything for my girlfriend to be happy again with me. I want to have the happiness that we had when we were first together. I know this is a first step towards that.

My girlfriend is trying to gain her independence back, not relying on me and I’m scared because I know it could be her first steps towards leaving. I know part of her wants to stay, but I also know that none of her wants to be with a liar. She says that she’s afraid that in the future, if we get married, that I’ll cheat on her and it’ll have been too late for her to leave. I’d never cheat on my girlfriend, I’ve never cheated and am not that kind of person, but my lies show her that I’m deceptive and if I was in a situation like that, that I’d hide it from her. The worst thing is, I don’t blame her for thinking like that. So I need to show her that I can put an end to lying, and finally rid myself of this.

I know this is the right thing to do, I know it’s a good first step to fully understanding how I can stop lying. I lie purely for selfish reasons and want to start putting not only my girlfriend, but also other people ahead of my needs. I don’t always need to come first, I know this. I know I can change.