Hi, I am the Calligrapher.  This is my first post.  I am physically, mentally and emotionally tired.  I lie so often that important people in my life spot what I am doing and use my words and statements ti trap me.  I feel it occurring as the seize on a statement and begin proving the details.  Most of the time it's to avoid uncomfortable conversations or prevent anger.  My spouse is not physically abusive but will rise to screaming when things are not to her satisfaction so I have learned to lie.  But the lying is much older than that, I have lied for many years and now see myself trapped.  How often have I found myself not wishing to disappoint someone and simply on the spot lie or hoping to get out of a conversation and yet another lie occurs.  And sometimes I have simply lied for no reason other than the fabrication sounds better than reality snd I would enjoy a bit of fantasy.  when life has become too mundane to face I create a lie about purchasing a new car or an important event that may not even be real.  I have no idea why.  when backed against a tight deadline I have forgotten then I makeup a lie about having finished instead of talking to my boss about my workload and life just snowballs.  I intend to start a 12 step program and journal and tell the truth because I have lost far too many friends to lies.