Liars Anonymous Community Group
A support group to provide those with a compulsive addiction to lie a place to share hope, strength and courage with others like them; solve our common problem and help others with a compulsion to lie. We aren't alone!
My name is David and I am a liar. I have lied to friends, family and my fiancé. I read thru a number of topics and recommendations before deciding to join this group and site. I want and must change the behavior I have exuded for a long time now. Even though I have made commitments to be better in the past all they ended up being were more lies to myself.
I like some of the strategies I have read so far and look forward to a life without lies. I have to say it was difficult to write this first message, but I know the first step is to admit it in a public, secure forum.
I like some of the strategies I have read so far and look forward to a life without lies. I have to say it was difficult to write this first message, but I know the first step is to admit it in a public, secure forum.
find her online she had a 10 step program and im doing it and wow i cant believe how on point she is. please i beg you to change today and if you want it strong enogh you can, Im starting to believe in myself and that's the first step, one day you will Live Life With Integrity along with me me!
here name is Billi Caine.
be strong and just focus on whats right in front of you!
I am a liar and have been lying for a very long time and it has started to ruin my life. My family is starting to be affected by my lies and my fiance has recently left me because she couldn't take it any longer . I want to get get help because I am tired of living my life this way.
I started to see a therapist but would like to get more help besides what my therapist is offering .
I am a compulsive liar. I have lived a majority of my life lying to my girlfriend, family, and friends. Lying has destroyed my past friendships and life, my lying led to me having to leave the city I grew up in and everyone I know there banish me from there.I now have a wonderful girlfriend now but I lie to her too, and I don't want to lose her. i don't want to be a liar, and I have never seeked help before so I hope the community here can help! I look forward to hearing from all of you.
My name is Kevin and I just joined to recover from lying. I have hurt my friends, family, and now my long-term girlfriend-fiancé. I am committed to taking this one moment and day at a time and becoming more aware of why I find myself lying and how I'm feeling. It has been a problem for most of my life with various degrees and consequences including losing a very high level executive job, affairs and divorce. I have such bad feeling about myself but then lash out defensively when confronted--all the very things the lie would solve! So thanks in advance to those who are ahead of me on this path as I need your insight and help.
How do you handle the constant reminders and bashing from a love one? when do you say enough is enough as it just makes me feel more shame and then I try to please people that just compounds the situation.
Thanks, KB
Your question about the constant reminders from a love one is good. I receive this on occasion and in the past I would lash back and say, "enough". "I am doing my best and the bashing does not help." Well, in some ways, the bashing is deserved and while it makes me feel more ashamed its part of their recovery process and a reminder of the pain I have caused. You can't ignore the pain. In my limited experience once you think everything is right, the lying will start again. You use the term "please" in your last sentence. Don't view it as "pleasing." To me, pleasing is when I would get in trouble. So often I thought I lie was the solution to help please a loved one, especially when the news was bad. You simply can't go down that path of thinking. This is tough, but it all starts with acceptance - thats when the real internal work begins. Finding out where your lying comes from is paramount. For me, it came from lack of self esteem. Where is coming for you?
My name is Arci. I have too lied to many ppl I care about in the past. I have read a lot of the stuff that has been mentioned in here and have come to the realization that part of the reason why I lie is because I want to please people. I've always have struggled with telling the truth and hurting someone and instead resort to lying. It makes me feel as if, if I lie and get away, I won't have to deal with the drama or argument. I don't know if any of you feel that same way.
Also, I like what stoplying1 stated about writing when I lie down. Maybe that will help with the process.
I am still new at this and hopefully by coming on here, I can learn more about myself. However, I still feel a little weird being here and interacting with people about lying.
thanks for your note and insights. I guess for me it comes from trying to please and avoid confrontations or in some cases wanting to do something that I know my partner will throw a fit, so I lie... Then as we all know the secret is like a time bomb and trying to find other lies to cover up... on and on... So you're absolutely right in acceptance. I have a lying problem and need to be so aware and present to know what I'm feeling and take the risk of fear of rejection, not pleasing someone etc, and tell the truth in a loving, caring way- not a blast.
I lie because of disappointment of where I am in my life.
· I lie to inspire others.
· Most of the lies are thoughts in my head like a story in order to have something to talk about.
· When I feel alone and insecure, I feel the need to lie. Lying lets me live in denial. I don’t have to
think about reality.
· I lie sometimes to prove a point.
· The fear of disappointing people overcomes me and the lies come out – which in time disappoints
people even more. It’s a catch 22.
· I lie to look more mature.
· Day dreaming all the time all my life has led to a lifetime of lies.
· I lie to go along with what others say just to fit in.
· I use lying as a defence mechanism to hide my anger, pain and insecurity.
· I lie to have stories to tell and think ahead of time what stories I will tell.
· I lie because I have the compulsive need to be right.
· I lie to make the world seem a more fantastic place.
· I lie because I seem to need the drama.
· Lying can be about the joy of manipulation and control or revenge if you were lied to repeatedly by
someone close in your life.
· I lie to avoid the constraints of overbearing parents.
· I lie so my parents won’t hit me.
· I’ve been making up stories since I was a child to entertain others and sold them as truth.
· I lie out of fear. I lie as I am afraid of what would happen if I told the truth. I then lie more to protect
the lie and it just spins out of control.
· Many times I don’t remember some or all of the lies which can lead to yet another set of lies.
· My brain just naturally makes up stories I feel are true at that moment.
I also lie when I think I might hurt someone's feelings. BUT I also lie to make myself feel better or more 'together' than I really am. I lie to make my ego feel better. We can fool ourselves that we are just trying to be nice, but, on the other hand we have to be careful and really look at the whole situation and not just admit lying when we are being agreeable.
I have also took the strategy of talking a bit slower. It forces me to think more about the words that are coming out of my mouth.