Liars Anonymous Community Group

A support group to provide those with a compulsive addiction to lie a place to share hope, strength and courage with others like them; solve our common problem and help others with a compulsion to lie. We aren't alone!

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NeoSoul 10/22/2018

TW: talk of abuse and coercion, not in great detail, but mentioned.

“We are condemned for lying, but we are condemned even more for telling the truth.”

This quote rings very true for me as I work through how to be the person I want to be. My truth was often rejected, so lying felt so much safer. When I was sexually harassed, I was told I put myself in the position. When I was bullied, I was told it was my job to be more likeable. When I was struggling with eating, I was told that I was being attention seeking and not to be a drama queen, to get my shit together and take care of myself. When I told my fiancé I was uncertain about marrying him and that I wanted to postpone the wedding, he said that I was ruining his life if I did that; “you made your bed, no lie in it.” I wasn’t strong enough to fight so I got married.

That paragraph sounds victimizing. It’s not meant to. I am not a victim of my circumstances. I’m a survivor and I am not justified in my lying. I want to stop and I am working to do it. But if I came forth and told my husband that I kissed a guy while we were married, that I feel really bad about it, that I have an addictiont o lying, I would be condemned. How have you all navigated this when you have strong evidence that your truth won’t be accepted? It is not a justification not to tell the truth, but it does increase the anxiety around it.

NeoSoul 10/22/2018

I feel ashamed to leave, I feel ashamed to stay and tell the truth. Either way I guess shame is inescapable. And that is okay.

gwilly 10/23/2018

It truly is a hard thing, each of us have gotten ourselves there in different ways, but it makes our lives hard in very similar ways.. Think of it like climbing a mountain. It's a hard rugged road, but once you get there to the top going down the other side is still going to be bumpy, but it is downhill and will get better.

fattymcslimjim 10/23/2018

I myself feel the same way about the condemned feeling we think we will receive if we tell the truth. Its like a weight on my chest and it comes naturally to me to lie and hide my shame instead of owning to my mistakes. My wife tells me repeatedly that if I had just come forth with the truth, she would not get mad and forgive me. But for some reason I still fear of how she'll look at me and that her feelings about me will change and she'll end up resenting me. Overcoming those fears is essential in accepting who we are and moving past our shame.

gwilly 10/24/2018

I remember back when I was feeling overwhelmed with the lies and that I had to fix things, the quote from the movie Meet Joe Black kept going through my head where William Parish says "reveal everything there is to know about yourself and let the chips fall where they may". That thought helped me to decide to push through and get started fixing things. And like I said it's hard, but it is doable.

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