Liars Anonymous Community Group

A support group to provide those with a compulsive addiction to lie a place to share hope, strength and courage with others like them; solve our common problem and help others with a compulsion to lie. We aren't alone!

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Daily rituals ....lost and found

onedayhonest
onedayhonest

It's been 5 months since my last post, I thought I had it all under control ...the lying that is. Until a week ago. I felt fear/insecurity/embarrassment/failure ... and I lied, again and again, to the point that it was just so obvious that I was lying. I realised that I wasn't doing the daily work that is required to remove my compulsive lying behaviour. My daily (weekly) rituals had all disappeared. I was not putting in the hard work. I lost myself ...now I want to find myself - I want to find the real me, the one who is prepared to fail, to feel insecure & be vulnerable. I've found myself again ... I'm onedayhonest ... 

Chrissy1399
Chrissy1399
We are like addicts. Just as an addict must daily/weekly fight to stay clean, so do we.
Can I ask what did your daily/weekly work entail? What were your rituals to help you before you fell again?
onedayhonest
onedayhonest
My daily/weekly rituals now must be:-
1. Go to Co-Dependency meetings once a week - move into the 12 step program
2. I will read and write every day in dailystrength to learn and share
3. I will see my therapist at least twice a month
4. I will spend time with my partner once a week discussing lying and practice telling the truth
5. I will stop if I feel like I am going to lie and let it pass, then tell the truth, and if I can't do that give it 30 minutes of 24 hours and come back to it and tell the truth
6. I will meditate to clear my mind and to stay present - become a mindful person
7. I will keep a register of all the good things I need to be doing such as being social, writing in dailystrength, seeing my therapist - so I have a log to look back and reflect on to see areas of my life where I need to be more/less focussed so I have balance
8. I will put a wrist band to remind myself of my lies, and look at it or touch it when I feel like I am going to lie (see my other post on this)
9. I will read and watch youtube videos on lying, vulnerability, etc
This is my action plan ...I'm onedayhonest
mikeyrg
mikeyrg
Change requires daily work. I am convinced that the human tendency is to allow complacency to lead to falling back into old rituals that do not serve where you want to be. I love your action plan. So much of what you list have been my steps as well. After what seems like years on this path I echo your post that when you stop the daily practice you will slip up! I also have a practice that on awakening I say my daily prayer/mantra asking that I be guided to embrace truth, humility, patience, kindness and service in my life (along with a bunch of other personal stuff). That way I start my day off cognoscente of my faults. It really is all about oneself. This has to be for you and leads to a serenity that was missing in the past. When you loose the codependent tendencies and learn to embrace yourself your relationships evolve to a higher level of interaction. It is no longer how your partner can keep you happy as you have found that inside yourself, but more into an expansion of your own happiness through the interaction and sharing you garner by being together independently. And you are way more than "Onedayhonest"!