Hello, name's Kris. I am a compulsive liar. I think I managed to get a post in almost every day this week and I even took the time to read and respond to some posts. I missed my SAA meeting last night because I scheduled my therapy appointment overlapping and I was kind of bummed about that. I like going to my meetings, not because I'm an addict, but because it gives me another chance to get my mind out in the open and talk about what's going on and how I am dealing. It also allows me to hear that others are working through their problems.

Anyway, I am finding that being honest does make things easier overall. I don't have to worry about handing my laptop over for inspection or worry that I might say or do something that will be "found out" becuase I am not doing anything that isn't honest, or trying anyway. Heading into the weekend can be tough because it means more time with my friend and that can be good or bad. Still have major trust issues and that leads to her being angry which leads to me being frustrated and angry then fighting. I have been trying to cope with anger better by not throwing up a defensive wall and battling, instead I try to listen and apologize for what I have caused. It's hard but I am going to keep working on it.

Been really depressed lately. Reflecting, I have been really depressed for like 20 years, maybe longer, but I think that being honest and also not relying on my bad behaviors to suppress these emotions is what's different. Normally I'd be drinking or out looking for some random hookup to push the feelings down, so in a way feeling them and acknowledging that I feel them is more honest. Crappy, but honest.