Sure do get it. Quiet is not always a bad thing.....but glad to know you aren't in big flare.

Don't think too hard......

Much love

hippy

Yes! I understand, it's known in my house as Me going to my room, with sign on the door handle saying....." I love you all, I'm having a quiet refill, need to be still, but still love ya all! If you REALLY need me ok, but it not better not knock" my daughter said when I first made it, that it took that long to read she forgot what she was going to ask or say to me anyway! Ha ha....it works!

Glad you are not in a flare. There are times when space and quiet are needed for the soul. Life with CP is so draining even on a good day! It is Father's Day here.....I feel bad that I'm not up to going out, but husband understands, thankfully! He is a great Dad. My kids are so lucky. X

Look forward to having you and your "wit" back asap! Love ya Jan.....you give so much x

Jan....I am frequently quiet when in a reflective mood. Or when I just need quiet solitude. Im actually quiet good with long silences, my mind runs much too fast sometimes, lots of times.......So I understand. It's just a thing:-)

I love you whether you have lots to says or just a few words. I value our friendship so much I'd take just a 'I'm here' if that's is the most you have to say.

Love & Healing hugs......
Deb

He He that's why i like the basement 8-)... the sparkle recharger.........

Just so happy your here n near Sweetness..... love you bunches.....

Oh Man, I don't think I can express myself without offending some one. My Son identified me on DS.....all he knew was I used a support group. You can read so much without being a member! Thank God I have never said anything that could hurt him! I was only trying to make a point. I don't want to share this info with everyone. I feel safe here even though I know this site too can be found.

I'm going stir crazy with this trial. I'm worrying again. So I had to use my code! I'm exhausted and teary. The second part of this trial not as good as first.....but thats ok. I understand it's diagnostic.

Sorry, feel like I'm a trapped lab rat today. Perfect storm x

Well..shoot..I thought you're start a new thread, Shoes..I came here as soon as I saw your post.

The board's getting kinda stormy again, too..
She's baiting people again..
Please y'all...bring it here instead of responding..
We don't want to lose anyone.

Shoes..understandable you feel this way..
You know the drill..
Grab the rope.
Luvnhugs..jc

I am just staying away for awhile. Trying to reorganize my brain. My head has hurt so bad that it feels like my brain is burnt out. Like I just don't have room for much.

Shoes your body is taking on some extra trauma with these procedures plus the stress before the procedures. Please try to rest more if you can and let your body adjust to this new and latest gizmo. Think on all that is good and pure and of healing. Prayers and love my friend.

Yolk Jen bring the worst thing someone said to you here if you want. I did notice a CL acknowledged that thread as helpful and put out a warning to the baiter. I guess maybe a reminder.

Jan are you still in think mode? Love ya however you are.

Love you all and.wishing you happy thoughts.

hippy

I never have responded unkindly to anyone on DS.....I'd like to right now! It's certainly not about conforming, but it is about letting others get some damned support that they are clearly not getting at home. It's a shame.....definite shame. *Perfect Storm*

Jan, I didn't want to start a thread, I'm hiding! I should have PM you, sorry. I think I'm going to hide in the basement till I go to hospital Wednesday morning. Hippy, you are right, I'm plain exhausted. Very emotional, but my BF must have sensed it and she has been here, like an Angel and listened, cleaned and help wash my hair after my sponge bath....clean sheets etc! I'm blessed.

The decision to implant needs to be made...the first part was very good. I will decide soon......leaving my family, going to capital City, alone three nights in hospital after the surgery to remove this trail and the old leads from BS SCS is daunting. I hate hospitals! Though, where I'm going is small and very caring and SAFE!

My PMD is wonderful.....love you guys, I don't know why I'm so teary today, it's not like me! X

I am staying low for a while... boards... make Seekn sad 8-(... Perfect Storm......

Please take good care Shoes, need you sparkling again real soon...., will be with you all the way Sweet Friend... very Gentle Hugs...

Hugs n Sparkles my sweet friends.... love you guys..... xoxox

sorry... i couldn't help that one. i had something i really wanted to say... and i read on down. a lot of times i let myself post without the detour that replies can lead to, but something about the total number of replies MADE ME open my yap. i was really pissed that because of one narcissist, i can't tell other buddies how i feel on that group.


i wanted to share that my ssdi hearing is the day after tomorrow, i wanted to ask questions, share notes, and relieve, in that post an old thorn from my side. i consider myself to have a healthy, almost over healthy self esteem, but that was a big reminder of how much trust CP actually earned from me for so long, because one (yep... ONE) person can pop my bubble so easily. i am not uncomfortable with sharing the personal information i choose to, unless it happens that someone unstable is polluting my pond, like the long forgotten CC.

i feel great about how i lived through one of the "worst things ever said to me" but, it still hurts me that someone i was so close to at that time could have said it. that doesn't make me a loser, it makes me human and kat's implication that the thread was a bunch of butt-hurt pussies enabling each other was SO FAR FROM THE TRUTH. but, why would i put a target on one of my weak spots after a warning like that from her? why would anyone share anything with someone right there waiting to pound you down afterwards.

i've been through all the abuse i can stand and i can't stands no more... if i get banned, i get banned. her perspective is not diverse, her perspective is destructive and it's probably the only way she can have an orgasm... that's how little i would like to share with the CP board as long as her return... (why'd she split and why she came back are some questions i'd really like answered... even though i'll never know the truth) is welcomed, i am not. it's that simple.

she's a black hole bitch. i am so thrilled that i don't know her in person right now. i'm still processing the anger that abuse causes in victims and i'm ready, so ready to punch someone in the face, while counter-intuitive and just wrong, my anger is big. my sense of loss, sadness, grief, denial, bargaining? no. but my anger? when i feel someone is abusive? RUN!.

i'll try to not let it happen again. it's pretty difficult. even the abuse group on here abuses their fellow abuse victims. i may not be up to an internet life right now.

does anyone know what that last sentence means? if so, will you define it?

sorry for thread jacking. really am. no self control.

linda- did you really think that warning was for her? of course, being self centered, i thought it had to do with me.

sorry everyone. panty twist, to say the least.

Jen I understand. I think yes it was for her. She was discrediting and putting down the whole thing and Mideybrow was saying it was part of chronic pain and helpful. This woman is just pretty nuts. She is running amok. I think she treats people like ants. Stomps on them.

I am so sorry you weren't able to open up and share what you needed to. There is a disconnect in the support board when she enters in. I don't know her purpose. I don't know why she is there. Don't know where she came from.

I just want the board to get back to support. People to get support without all the fear of being put down and being berated. People to come and feel welcome and not feel like they have to be part of a gang. Just a family an extended family.

Yolk Jen good luck with your hearing. I think it will go well. You have all your records and lord knows you can't work. It is time for justice.

You are strong and whatever you do I am proud of you. I hope you will stay and let DS handle the other issues.

love and peace
hippy

Yolkie.... Hmmm not sure if I am late.....

But best of luck with your ssdi, so hope it works out for you...... huge Hugs.....

Psssst.... love you guys.....

With ya, yolkyjen.