I'm really not doing too good.

JC....I get it. My new name is horizontal. Sounds like we are on similar path right now.
You are one strong Lady.....it takes time to adjust. Ask for sleeping tabs. I have run out! But I will get more next week. I'm burnt out from trying and the pain has me for now. So I am listening to my body and resting.
Not thar it seems to make a difference.

My thoughts are with you....praying for strength. I'm doing the best I can for now.....you do the same. I love ya! L

With you my Sweet Lady......

I so wish, I could travel, I would be there in day'ish..... Hmmmm just as long as D doesn't chase me..... cause I cant hop to fast..... to give you a huge ((((((Hug)))))) and to giggle at your accent.. lol....

Sorry the news this week wasn't really good, re BD and pred... the joys of the double edge sword.... similar boat, the pred keeps me functioning but is making the avascular necrosis in the hip worse... sigh

Coming off pred, as you know, well sux balls, it's a mental and physical rollercoaster, hope the doc's have a good step down program in place to lessen the effects... "this to will pass" .. as they say.... hmmm.. so just listen to the body, rest up, and try not let depressive thoughts take control...

Reverse phycology.... when J and your little miracle E move out...... maybe it's an opportunity to help break the pain avoidance challenges, having that magical something to do and look forward too, to help break the cycle and get out for quality time together...

Sweet, I'm sorry things are just being so dam challenging at the moment, n so glad your reaching out, I just so wish I could help you more than sending "huggie" men..... Your an inspiration to me (us) and love you heaps......

Gentle (((((HUGS)))))) xoxoxox

thank you guys so much.I'm sorry forr the drama.just one of those days
( you're right, Seek..I'll jave to break the cycle to see my little buddy more..:-)
Shoes..move over..:-) :-)

You are not drama Jan. some hard things are going on. Shout it girl!

Sorry you are so down. I want to hibernate this winter. Maybe it's the weather for you and me.

I hope you are back to being wonderful inspiration that you are !

gentle hugs Hon.

OK..I'd like to delete this thread now. Bad enough to be mired in self-pity without making a public show of it.
But..guess it's not fair if I get to just erase my bad..:-) :-)

So..I'll distract y'all from it with a song..:-) :-) :-)

When I was feeling distressed at being so long at my appointment the other day
( more from wanting a cig than anything)..
My husband started singing little bunny Foo Foo.
Anyone heard of it?

It gets STUCK in your dang head..
OK..now throwing shiny things around..:-) :-)

Have we forgotten how this damn thread started yet?
Good.....:-) :-) :-) :-)
Like " the Song That Never Ends"

You can come to me, or you can come here anytime, for any reason. Cause? Well, cause I love you. You are my friend. You are important to me. I wish I had the magic words to make you feel better. But I think time is the answer here.....well time and love from all of us:-)

I promise this does get easier to cope with. When my eldest moved out with my granddaughter I thought I'd never live through it. My heart and home felt so empty.

Then my second born moved to freakin' Alabama!! Oh my goodness! With my two grandsons!! Gawr!! Cried my eyes out more than once.

Just remember she's not far away......and you can always call me!! OK...ok, I'm not the answer to your heartache but just know I will be here for you when ya need someone to talk to!!

Much love!!
Deb

Hey...if you never allow us to see your vulnerable side, how can we help? You don't always have to be stoic for everyone else.

Hugs...

Deb..of course you're the answer to my heart-ache...
you guys have been the answer to my heat-ache for quite a while now..:-) :-)

Thank you, Cherry. Funny..I used to think of myself as stoic..
...I thought I didn't have a vulnerable side..:-) :-) :-)
..lessons in humility.

hugs....jc

One of the hardest things in my world is to really let some one know how vulnerable and fearful I am of pain. I know those around me think I'm handling my limited mobility and isolation well. I'm glad this place exists where sadly others " get it " . But if I spoke of it to some I know they would be polarized and feel inadequate. There are some people who will never be able to comprehend life with intractable CP. It is just human nature, we are all different.

CP has forced me to learn more about myself than I would have, I think I'm more compassionate from the experience. I know now that I actually like my self and my own company.....I'm stronger than I thought I was.

I thank God that I've learnt those lessons, I just wish he believed it and would give me a break! Xx

You are merely Human, Jan. But you do have a gift in communication skills, being able to bring your bright nature to DS. Rest up, and thanks x

Shoes.....I'm with you 110%! This place allows me to be who I really am.....and i allow myself to be me. Well pretty close anyway. I'm actually a much bigger baby!

Hugs to all!
Deb

Jc........you amaze me.
you and i have spoken lots.........right THERE!..every time i say or think somethin like that i get to
thinkin back over all the stuff you and me been through together.
just.................fuckinwonderful.
can you believe that?!
what i started with.you and me speakin a lot....well one time i remember you mentioning that you kind of figured
that you and me were in a very similar boat.......physicallyfuckedupwise(not your words there exaaaactly.....
but the gist there) and i agreed.
i still do.
now..............back up a few lines to ..............uh.....lemmeeseehere........THERE!.............fuckinwonderful.
that you and me are so fuckedup(i know....lotta hardcore medical terminology here but..serious as this topic is.......i really gotta use the technical terms)............and lookin back at the severity of the fuckedupedness
we both were goin through during some of my most dear rememberings of my relationship with you.
well............it's amazing to me that the one thing that SHINES in all these thoughts........in all the crushing
pain..........in all the crippling fear.........in all the smothering depression, regret, guilt, anger, bitterness, sadness,uncertainty, loneliness and
all the PAINPAINPAIN!..................................the shinerBaby.....if "fuckinwonderful"
like most things i say......i've started out here with no clear idea what i'm doin.......except....i want to adress the emotional pain that's wrackinyou up ..........i can't do anything about your physical pain.
and i don't know if i can do anything about your emotional pain either..........i'm ramblin herebuddy and, as you thought your own post should be a journal.....i'm thinkin my answer should be a private message......'caue it's
to you and....you'll understand it............BUT i'm off and runnin so i'm just gonna ride this fucker out.
you found me on my email and asked if i was "disappeared" again.....i am........shit's been awful and i can't bring it here right now..............this is my point......here we are again......tod and Jc.........fucked.................up.
i'm hurtin in so many places right now........physically, mentally and emotionally.........that i just wanna SLAMTHEFUCKINKNOCKOUTS............and render myself unconcious..........as deeply and for as long
as i can..........................yet.................here i sitcrouchstandstoopquivertwitchandgroooaaan.................just so i can try to get through to your pain with any kind of balm.
and .....................i wouldn't miss it for the world.
THAT's.......who you are.
that you can make me feel something so..............worthwhile...........when all i wanna do is try again to find some way to ......quit.
..................special............that's what ya are my friend......unique and wonderful.
i'm realizin here that i can't do shit to help you........but i CAN.......thank you.
you mean the world to me buddy.................don't ever get down on yourself for needin friends.
you are not only all this sappyass stuff i just rambled out here.......you are also one of the toughest people i know.
gonna stop now...........apologies all round if this made no sense.
Jc i love you.
PEACE
t

Dear JC, This is a brighter place with you here. I love your sense of humor. I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling badly, but I do understand the feelings. I wanna give up sometimes, too.

I didn't hear self pity. I heard frustration. No wonder with what you have to deal with every day.

Many (((((HUGS))))) for you. Please keep sharing the JC we have all come to love and appreciate We all have these rough patchesl

Heather