GOOD QUESTION WAS WONDERING SAME THING. I ALWAYS GET REALLY EMBARRASSED AND WORRY ITS TOO SOON

::waving to Ali:: Hi Hon. Hope you're doing okay.

nemesis: I'm pretty sure you're going to get quite a few different answers here..but it's likely they will all have the same main theme.. "Say it when you feel it's right and true"

I'm twice your age plus some. I've had the opportunity to say these words throughout my life, and still to this day, I find them precious, very real words.
I'm not the type to sign off a letter or close a phone call or cash out my groceries, ending the connection with "I love ya!" I feel that unless you really, truly mean what love is in every sense of the emotion.. do not demean it by saying it casually. This is my thing..and many people don't get me. :O) and that's okay.

When I do tell someone I love them, (in the way you mean it) those lucky hearts can expect to be flooded with thee most peaceful, secure, strong, patient, kind, devoted, honest, real commitment that I can offer. I feel Love is a gift; it is an energy that should never be taken lightly. It is a flame that once ignited never truly dies.

We are capable of all different kinds of love. And it's crazy beautiful. We just have be very clear and consise about what 'kind' of love we feel.

In relation to what you're posting about....there is a very fragile human condition that confuses our hearts and minds with love..and it's all about a chemical reaction.. an excitement and thrill that feels like the epitomy of Love. It comes on very early in a new connection; and it R-O-C-K-S our world.
It is Euphoria, the brillance and energy of feeling validated and seeing something before us that for now...looks exquisite. Perfect.

In my world, until you really see their light and their dark: their inner depth of knowledge, personality, character, views on life and people, their humor, your similarities,..what ignites their joy, how they process pain, confusion, betrayal, etc., etc., etc., until you see their faults and watch how they stand up when they fall..you cannot really know the depth true love. And in all honesty, until someone see's you for exactlly who you are.. they cannot 'truly' love you either. It's a complete, full circle.

So in essence my dear one,..if you really, honestly feel you are 'in love' say.. you are 'in love' and most importantly share with her 'Why' you feel this way about her. What makes her unique and what takes your breath away about her. Keep it real, honest and sacred.

I feel we should express ourselves no matter what the risk. We are who we are, ..emotional, alive beings who should never let fear suffocate us. We'll learn throughout time, that there will be instances when our feelings are not returned...and this only means one thing.
We loved. And we cared. And we're beautiful rays of light bouncing off a sun lit crystal. It's simply practice for our heart to find that one who awaits us down the road.. who will open up to us and absorb our colors and light.

So go for it when you feel you're ready and let this be the time in your life when you learn that 'nothing risked is nothing gained' Love is a rare, precious gift and you need to learn all on your own what's it's really all about.
*smile

I think the posts speak of love very clearly. I will add a few notations. The giddy feeling that one feels at first is lust, fondness, infatuation. This can be a gateway to love but not always. Our expactions can be too high, then when we see the other persons foibles we turn our backs to the person. I would embrace the euphoria but with caution understanding that no one is perfect. True love takes time to develop and can only develop after the initial first phase. Love is when we accept the person flaws and all.

ms teri you are an amazing women. thank you for your incite. i never tell anyone but family and children i love them. just not my thing. im very very caring and loving but only to few chosen. i will need to feel it as you explained from my head to my toes and not just in bed to know it is the right time. yes i know i love this woman but have so much more to learn before i know i really truly love this woman.

Along time ago a good friend gave me some great advice on this subject. She said If you need to ask the question "Is this true love?" then the answer is no.

ok, only reason i asked is because women have a tendency to say it when they dont mean it so that they can use me. so i just wondered.

nem ~ Men do it too, it's not reserved for one specific gender. It's all about the person and what they think they can get away with. One way to eliminate this little game from your life is to steer clear of anything physical. Get to know people, and let them get to know you. You are an involved, thinking, aware individual in every connection you make and Nobody can use you unless you let them.

(hug)

I would tell them that you want to be friends first. I would take it very slow and careful. Be caring to her and ask her questions about herself and see if she does the same in return. Tell her that true love involves caring, trust, committment, etc. If you don't pick on love vibes then no physical intimacy. Honesty is crucial.