Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group
This community is for those who are in a gay marriage, and the unique challenges that may be had in a same-sex relationship. Find support and talk to others in a same-sex marriage, and get advice from the experiences of other members.
So I have recently started dating a girl. Which has been good for the most part. We are taking it slow.
We haven't had sex yet. we have made out and what not but not all the way.
She recently told me about her last gf. She was with this girl 3 weeks. They had chemistry basically she said they couldn't keep there hands off each other kinda thing. Then they eventually had sex. My gf said the sex was good. but after the girl seemed cold and distant and that's when my gf realized her feelings for her had changed. And they basically broke up.
So now Im with her and I feel comfy enough with her. But because of what she did in the past. I am unsure I can go all the way as my mind keeps telling me not too because chances are what happend with the last girl will happen to me.
I just cant figure out what to do. I'm scared that the pressure to have sex will rock what we have. And I'm scared if we do have sex and her feelings would change I would be crushed.
totally confused
We haven't had sex yet. we have made out and what not but not all the way.
She recently told me about her last gf. She was with this girl 3 weeks. They had chemistry basically she said they couldn't keep there hands off each other kinda thing. Then they eventually had sex. My gf said the sex was good. but after the girl seemed cold and distant and that's when my gf realized her feelings for her had changed. And they basically broke up.
So now Im with her and I feel comfy enough with her. But because of what she did in the past. I am unsure I can go all the way as my mind keeps telling me not too because chances are what happend with the last girl will happen to me.
I just cant figure out what to do. I'm scared that the pressure to have sex will rock what we have. And I'm scared if we do have sex and her feelings would change I would be crushed.
totally confused
really?
Okay.
Your picture and screen name is very familiar to this site, however the stories from before are totally different todays situation.
Look sister.
~ 3 weeks isn't a g/f or a relationship.
Consider not comparing yourself to a 'one night stand' from the past.
~ Sex is just a physical connection that can be had with anyone or any plastic battery operated THING. 'Get off' on her connection to you in a spiritual, emotional, and psychological way. This insight will give you the answers you are searching for.
I don't think you are 'totally confused'
I think you are repeating the same thing over n over n over n over....
again
(hug)
Good luck
First off, I absolutely agree with Ms. TeriLyn that three weeks is too soon to consider her your girlfriend and maybe even too soon to be having a lot of the concerns you are currently wondering about.
If you are not ready to have sex please do not. Instead, continue getting to know this woman and see if there is a connection or not.
A small red flag for me was that she discussed her last girlfriend and their sexual activity which led to them breaking up with you. Not sexy! I'd be curious to know why she shared this. Is she not over this woman? Is she afraid of making the same mistake with you? You could ask about this in a gentle way.
I am newer to this site thus haven't read your other posts and am not sure what Ms. TeriLyn is referring to in terms of patterns but if there is something that is reoccuring I would absolutely encourage you to look at it maybe with the support of a professional counselor if you aren't already in that type of dialogue.
Good luck and I hope it works out with this woman if it's meant to be!