Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group
This community is for those who are in a gay marriage, and the unique challenges that may be had in a same-sex relationship. Find support and talk to others in a same-sex marriage, and get advice from the experiences of other members.
Hi Ladies!
It's been awhile since I last popped in here, anyway life has been quite kind to me lately and I am happily attached to a wonderful woman. I hope everyone had a great new year celebrations!
Anyway cut to the chase, why am I even here if I am attached to an awesome person right. For most part of my relationship with Daphne, its been a joy however just 2 weeks ago there was a misunderstanding and a huge blow out happened. You see Daphne wasn't very clear about a certain friend called Cheryl. I know she told me Cheryl was in love with her and Daphne made it clear to me that they are only friends.
What transpired was that I found out that Daphne spent the night with Cheryl (cos Daphne got drunk and cheryl took care of her but I didn't know they went out together) and cheryl has no clue about my existence or me being daphne's girlfriend. Now I am not saying Daphne cheated I trust that she didn't because there and there she told cheryl that I am her girlfriend. However things does look kinda dodgy.
Since then I have been fighting trust issues. I am uncomfortable about Daphne's friendship with Cheryl because cheryl has been on an aggressive fight to win her affections. I also know Daphne dated Cheryl a few months ago before seeing me but broke up with her cos she felt that Cheryl wasn't the one.
Bottomline is I know Daphne wants to remain friends with Cheryl because she finds Cheryl to be a nice person but I am uncomfortable with all these grey areas because I am afraid it may lead to a reconciliation between the both of them. What should I do?? I don't want to anger Daphne by bringing this topic up again because she has made it very clear that she wants to be with me.
So I am thinking, is it just me? Am I being unreasonably insecure? I am also well aware Daphne did not tell Cheryl about me because she didn't want to hurt her. What can I do?? Thank you for reading this long post and happy new year!!
It's been awhile since I last popped in here, anyway life has been quite kind to me lately and I am happily attached to a wonderful woman. I hope everyone had a great new year celebrations!
Anyway cut to the chase, why am I even here if I am attached to an awesome person right. For most part of my relationship with Daphne, its been a joy however just 2 weeks ago there was a misunderstanding and a huge blow out happened. You see Daphne wasn't very clear about a certain friend called Cheryl. I know she told me Cheryl was in love with her and Daphne made it clear to me that they are only friends.
What transpired was that I found out that Daphne spent the night with Cheryl (cos Daphne got drunk and cheryl took care of her but I didn't know they went out together) and cheryl has no clue about my existence or me being daphne's girlfriend. Now I am not saying Daphne cheated I trust that she didn't because there and there she told cheryl that I am her girlfriend. However things does look kinda dodgy.
Since then I have been fighting trust issues. I am uncomfortable about Daphne's friendship with Cheryl because cheryl has been on an aggressive fight to win her affections. I also know Daphne dated Cheryl a few months ago before seeing me but broke up with her cos she felt that Cheryl wasn't the one.
Bottomline is I know Daphne wants to remain friends with Cheryl because she finds Cheryl to be a nice person but I am uncomfortable with all these grey areas because I am afraid it may lead to a reconciliation between the both of them. What should I do?? I don't want to anger Daphne by bringing this topic up again because she has made it very clear that she wants to be with me.
So I am thinking, is it just me? Am I being unreasonably insecure? I am also well aware Daphne did not tell Cheryl about me because she didn't want to hurt her. What can I do?? Thank you for reading this long post and happy new year!!
The more than "friendly" friend is always a hard topic to discuss without one person angering the other. I would probably make it very clear to Daphne on your feelings regarding Cheryl. Insecurities and all, and the reasons that warrant them. If she loves you, she should be able to put herself in your shoes and put forth more effort to validate your security if she still intends on keeping her friendship with Cheryl.
I also think that she should be more forthright with Cheryl regarding your relationship. Not telling Cheryl about the two of you in fear of Cheryl's emotions should have not been a factor. You're the main woman in her life and Cheryl should know that, not only out of respect for the relationship but out of respect for you as well.
Just know that even after discussing your feelings, while it may alleviate your concerns somewhat, it's natural for those feelings and thoughts to still remain.
The best advice I can give would be to talk to Daphne about the possibility of the three of you all hanging out together. Maybe the more time you spend getting to know Cheryl and vice versa, the less of a threat she may appear to be to you and your relationship.
Here's to hoping everything works out!
Hey thanks for your kind advice! I was thinking that too when things have cooled down to ask Daphne if we could all hang out. That way at least I get to extend the olive branch and also make it clear that I am the main woman not her I suppose??
But in this case...I say.. WTF!!!???
Are you freakin' kidding me????
Cheryl is an EX who has no clue about you,..yet you believe that Daphne is into you..yet she wants to remain friends with Cheryl?!!! LOL. This is a reality show come to life on LRC!!
C'mon lady. You have to read your own post and see very clearly that you are in a position that you have allowed yourself to be in!!! (hug) If you love yourself and believe in boundaries and morals..then...show both Cheryl and Daphne who you really are and live by them. If you decide to stay in this three-way, disrespectful, cruel connection..then my sister.......you will receive the deceit and pain you are inviting :O/
What can you do?
It's early January ...2014.. Wash your hands of anyone who is not good, loyal, truthful and real with you.
Good luck.
And remember this if nothing else...what you allow is what you will receive in life. (hug)