Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group
This community is for those who are in a gay marriage, and the unique challenges that may be had in a same-sex relationship. Find support and talk to others in a same-sex marriage, and get advice from the experiences of other members.
i may have to break up with my gf who i love very much because when i try to open up and talk to her about personal stuff, she shuts down and puses me away. i feel so abandoned. and so many people have done that to me when i really needed them that im scarred by it, and if she dooes it again, i dont think iv got the strength to run after her and apologise for what i havent done. i know for a fact that she only does it to me, no one else. if anyone else neeeds her shes right there, listens and is good as gold. but im her gf and she cant do that for me.
its starting to errode my trust in her. and im very sad that she keeps behaiving like this. theres no need for it, and the other thing thats bothering me is i think she thinks im going to turn into her ex and start abusing her. and im starting to take it personally now, bcz i was in an abusive relationship too, but i had to bite the bullet and give her the benifit of the doubt. but she wont do that with me and i dont know if we're going to get any where because of that.
when she pushes me away and hurts me badly im always the one asking her if she wants to sort it out. i end up feeling like she doesnt care, and doesnt want to try and make our relationship work by communicating better. please somebody help me i dont know what to do
its starting to errode my trust in her. and im very sad that she keeps behaiving like this. theres no need for it, and the other thing thats bothering me is i think she thinks im going to turn into her ex and start abusing her. and im starting to take it personally now, bcz i was in an abusive relationship too, but i had to bite the bullet and give her the benifit of the doubt. but she wont do that with me and i dont know if we're going to get any where because of that.
when she pushes me away and hurts me badly im always the one asking her if she wants to sort it out. i end up feeling like she doesnt care, and doesnt want to try and make our relationship work by communicating better. please somebody help me i dont know what to do
Another thing that may help is couple counseling, but I don't know if that is a possibility for you.
You weren't really specific on what kind of 'personal stuff' you can't talk about with her. She may have unresolved feelings on whatever you are talking about and doesn't know how to handle them.
I hope that helped,
Owl
I'm sorry you're struggling with this hon. Sounds very painful for you!
The first thing you may want to try is direct communication with her. And, you won't want to do this when you're upset or in the middle of trying to open up and share.
This should be done when things are calm and happy. Remember that you are sharing your feelings about how she reacts to you, so try to be very conscious of using, "I feel ___, when you ____" If you say things like, "You make me feel ____" ..you will lose her and she'll become very defensive.
She may become defensive anyway; however you must try very hard not to go there yourself.
I'm hoping after this 'calm' discussion you both can come to some agreements.
Keep us posted.
i think that just because im the same star sign as her ex that abused her shes put me ii the same box, and for that reason, im not even sure if its worth trying any more. in fact im starting to wish id never met her... then i wouldnt have gotten my heart broken again :(
I know that my gf has a few issues. I am very hard tryin to be there 4 her. If you can rule out that she isnt, depressed, or bipolar, or what ever, then I would think you see the writing on the wall, but if it is a emotional things, she just might need you. That would be for u to see how much you want to get involved. I got my gf to understand me finally, and tonite I am taking her to a psychiatric she knows she needs help to deal. I love her and am giving it my best shot.Good luck. wings
Honey.. you need to try and get a hold of yourself. Your self worth and value as a beautiful woman is NOT based on whether this particular g/f is there for you or not. The way she treats you is the way she treats you; you are not accountable or responsible for it.
You are ONLY accountable and responsible for YOU and your actions. Since it seems you have some issues that need assistance, please use your energy to find someone else besides your g/f to help. There are counselors/therapists/support groups and other options.
There are times when we have to simply work on ourselves and help ourselves; because our g/f's - life partners - family members -friends simply don't have the ability, means or energy to help us.
Your relationship may now be quite stressed and it's likely you both may need to take a break. Instead of crying, gather up your strength and self love and find someone other than your g/f to help you find peace.
Not only will this help you now, it will ensure that your future is much happier. You can then concentrate on life ~ the beauty of the here and now with a g/f ~ not old dusty baggage.
(((nemesis)))