ROFL...oh hon...it's always the way. Your hormones are on overdrive right now. Hang in there. It will come and go for the next ten years. Make some plans, start putting away some money, and have a heart to heart with your gf. If you want kids, and only pretend you don't for your gf, you'll end up resenting her in the end.

Don't fret about it overly much. It's a natural thing to happen. And we certainly don't want you doing it the old-fashioned way. There are always turkey basters...lol.

Well I have a high high sex drive and my hormones are always on over drive, but I don't ever think about wanting a baby... I guess I'm not that motherly...sigh

Bless you Devon you are always there when I feel I am going insane. I am going to discuss it this wekend. I maybe single come Monday. If I am that is it I am becoming a Nun. I am ready for a child now. I turn 30 in June. If I wait to be finished with school I will be about 37. (Another thing what was I thinking starting school so late.) Not to insult those older than me but I feel I am getting old. My 20's were hell and I want to 30 just not 31. Why can't I get a baby from the store like I did my g/f?

A couple of comments.... First turning 30 was a bigger deal than turning 40 and is for alot of people. By this I mean you tend to question just about everything. Do I want children.. or more children? Do I want to stay in this job, this relationship? Being 30 is big deal... and a great time for life planning.

So you are not losing your mind at all.... you are right on target for life\'s lessons.

Now having a baby.... I\'d lie down till the feeling went away.
KIDDING!!!!!!!!

Second, Devon is right, if you actually yearn for children and you don\'t because of your partner, you will be forever resenting her and the "forced" decision

I yearned for them, I had three and wouldn\'t have it any other way. I am rare in the group of friends I have, they do not, nor ever wanted children. It;s all good, just personal choices.

Enjoy 30 and good luck with your talk.

Seems to be the reason you\'re thinking about a child is for the same reason many straight couples do: to solidify a relationship. I read on your page that you have concerns over how well you and your girlfriend might get along, living together because the two of you have such different personalities.
Some people feel that if they paint themselves a perfect picture of reality, the reality they actually have will change and become that. Your reality right now is that you are a college student, a new one just starting out. You are living with parents and/or a girlfriend who doesn\'t want kids. All of that sounds like a very tough bunch of obstacles to get around just to have a baby, a baby who sounds like it will complicate your life rather than make people join together in raising it.

Well good news I\'m not single. She went from being shocked to almost puking to almost crying. I think she handled it well. She doesn\'t understand it but accepts it right now. we have talked very little about it.

I was infertile and unable to conceive until I was 38. I\'m 42 now with a 3 1/2 yo as a *single* mom. Having a child is the most powerfully good choice I have ever made. I wish I could have done it when I was your age, I\'d have had 3 or 4 by now.

The tough thing about parenting, is that it changes *everything*. It changed my sleeping (what\'s that) schedule. It changed who wanted to hang out with me. I lost a community of hundreds that were supportive when I was trying to conceive and not supportive once my kid was in my arms. They are not unkind folk, they just were not ready for how powerful a trigger observing a mother unconditionally love her child would be for each of them as individuals. The issues brought up for members of my community were varied and intense, in most cases they felt a need to withdraw to confront or avoid the feelings that were boiling up about their own unresolved parenting, neglect or abuse issues.

I have many straight coupled parent friends that get parenting but don\'t have the same stresses and needs, not being single. I have some single parenting friends but they are straight and definitely don\'t get my need for queer community as they don\'t see themselves needing "straight" community being in the majority and getting support in the general population and media by default for their orientation.

I have one single lesbian mom friend but she lives over 3 hours away. In summary, despite my lovely local area lesbian moms group, I am 100% on my own. My biological family lives 3,000 miles away and my family is not even supportive by phone or email due to their rigid religious ideas about my being a dyke.

The isolation can contribute to depression and the unexpected financial costs of responding to what\'s best for my daughter (she\'s profoundly gifted and I can\'t afford the education that she deserves) can be discouraging.

Even lesbian couples I know that equally wanted children before are different and can be strained by the actual day to day routine of a crying baby or moody teenager whose needs neither of you will necessarily know how to meet initially.

The unique feelings of being the non-biological mom...how people make her feel when they call you the *real* mom. Her family\'s response to her co-parenting with you...will they consider this child their grandchild? Will they treat this child equally? Will you breastfeed? My daughter *needed* me home and breastfeeding for over 3 years. Are you financially prepared for no or drastically reduced income for 3-5 years or longer? The women I know who work outside of the home are not prepared for the crushing hormonal weight or the personal agony of leaving their newborn infant with a nanny, relative or a daycare. I\'ve seen this moment break strong women of any orientation/relationship status.

Please be careful about getting pregnant the "old fashioned" way. In most states you abdicate many legal rights to your child by choosing this action. Some states can take your parental rights and share them with the biological father and/or his family or give your child to him/them in some cases. I personally have seen powerful suffering generated by distant conservative religious relatives of a cool laid back guy. At least read the life stories of other lesbians who\'ve tried this to be prepared and maximize your chance for safety/success.

There are free legal clinics for dykes interested in having children through an organization called "Maybe Baby." Try connecting with your local Maybe Baby group or try finding a Lesbian Moms group through a free local meeting generator such as http://www.meetup.com/ In our group, women considering conception/adoption/fostering are encouraged to attend with/out partners and family members and get to know us before they need us.

My daughter is worth all the changes and I cannot regret her presence whatever the cost to me personally; still, I wish someone like me and been in my circle of support before I had her. This would have made all the difference going through the many and intense transitions from childless lesbian to becoming a "mom."

Good luck,
RW