Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group
This community is for those who are in a gay marriage, and the unique challenges that may be had in a same-sex relationship. Find support and talk to others in a same-sex marriage, and get advice from the experiences of other members.
I HAVE BEEN AN EMOTIONAL WRECK. THERE ARE HONESTLY SOME DAYS I DONT WANT TO BE HERE ANYMORE. IM SUCH AN INSECURE PERSON. HAVE BEEN WITH MY PARTNER FOR 8 MONTHS. THOUGHT SHE WAS READY FOR LIVING TOGETHER THROUGH MISCOMMUNICATION. WE LIVE ABOUT HOUR APART I GO THERE ON WEEKENDS AND WHENEVER POSSIBLE. SHE ALWAYS SAYS HOW SAD SHE IS WHEN I LEAVE HOW MUCH SHE WANTS ME THERE SO IN MY HEAD WAS READY PACK UHAUL. TOLD MY KIDS THAT LIVE WITH ME PARTTIME WAS CONSIDERING MOVING TOLD MY BOSS WANTED TO TRANSFER AND GUESS WHAT. SHE DOESNT WANT ME. I LOST IT. WANTED OFF THIS PLANET BUT STAY CAUSE KIDS. SHE SAID SHE LOVES ME JUST NOT READY PLAY HOUSE. HOW DO I GET MORE SECURE SO EVERYTIME SHES NOT WITH ME I DONT LOOSE IT. IM CAUSEING ALOT OF PROBLEMS BECAUSE IM SO INSECURE SHE IS A VERY VERY HEAD STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMEN THAT HAS HAD ROUGH PAST AND ISNT READY SO NOW THINK I HAVE PUSHED HER AWAY. NEED ADVICE PLZ
First....if I am remembering correctly (which is a stretch lol) I remember you and this gal had alot of problems before.
I would part ways and I suggest therapy and time to get to know yourself again and work through your insecurities. She may be head strong but also sounds a little like a head case.
Again, seriously...I am only going by what I have read here on the forums in your posts and I realllllllllllllllllllllllly think you would both benefit by going your separate ways and getting some serious counseling. I know it has helped me immensely.
Good luck to you both.
Mrs teri posted some thing on the five love languages. I will try to find it and bring it too the top.. I do require a lot of time,... it is my love language my ex needed space... she also sucked at talking.. so she would be passive aggressive to up set me and get space.... I found a site on how to take care of me.. that has helped... I stay busy in the yard at the gym... helping friends... then there are the quite times I just looses it .. it is all part of healing... I have had my heart broke before.. and I lived.. seems like nothing has ever hurt this bad .. but I am working through the pain... and in the end I know what I need in a relationship.... and not feeling secure is no way to live life I also just came out and so I think it is harder to let go also because I have spent my life with men and this was like candy... o ya I am dieting too...lol... I really think you should step back and wait till you feel safe and not fear..
You know I have been a long side your quest for love since you joined DS. I have seen your ongoing struggle, and I have seen your continuous pain. You have been quite open about your insecurities; you see them and know them. Yet.. my sweet sister,..you continue to give into them. You continue to make thee choice; that your beautiful, caring soul should bow down to your own emotions.
That You aren't Quite You ~ unless you have anothers heart in your life. And, any heart that opens up to your amazing soul..... needs to show you their love in your way. Constant. Validating. Every breath.
You are a Mother; raising several children. Graciously holding onto a life; faithfully holding onto Hope.. and That Is You. This means you have a sense of self. A sense of your own beautiful spirit that lives deep down inside you; or, my brave heart,...you would Not Be Here Any Longer. I know you're stronger than you think.. because of what I've read here from you before. Your survival instinct is like a freakin' warrior. I honor that. I see it.
It's freakin' high time sister for you to find a way to stand on your own ground. Be YOU. Be the self sufficient beautiful human being that God put on this Earth. You ARE. You BELONG HERE. You are a beautiful, intensely caring heart ~ that finally,..at some freakin' point in life has to understand....that Others Do Not Validate Your Soul or your exsistence here. You Freakin' ROCK Ali.
Yes. We find an unbelievable joy and a living energy that rises up within us when a lover who is really compatible and cool comes into our lives. But,..They Are Simply here to hold our hands as we walk down the individual path of what we need to learn here.
The women you fall for are independent souls. Rock on. I love them too. But, suffocating what we love about a person..shuts it all down. Even the most strongest, independent, together women have insecurities. All of us do. And if someone comes along, constantly pulling energy from us...and not giving back what we think we need...... it will feel as if we're being suffocated instead of loved.. and we will Run. RUN.
It's the total opposite of what you've been looking for honey. You're sabotaging the exact match that you want and deserve :O/
I've typed many words to you before. I have no more, but I still have high hopes that one day you will 'get it'. Somehow, I really hope through therapy that you find out what it is that creates this needy creature within such a perfectly strong warrior. Or, that one day, after your heart is totally shattered and you no longer know who you are.. you finally take the time to see things on your own.
((long, long hug))
I think you are so beautiful. I hope one day you stand your ground, look in the mirror one day and agree with me.