Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group
This community is for those who are in a gay marriage, and the unique challenges that may be had in a same-sex relationship. Find support and talk to others in a same-sex marriage, and get advice from the experiences of other members.
Hello hi there...I have to fess up I think while I am an ok functioning adult female in singlehood. I think I am terrible when I am with someone. Some of you might have read my posts here, either I have absolute shit luck with girls or I really suck at this relationship thing.
Anyway I am posting today because after a tumultuous courtship of 3 months, my girlfriend and I have come to the last stand. We're both wrong and right at the same time, we are both equally insecure there is no barometer to measure this. After our last quarrel, I left and I know this was a huge blow to her, I left because I thought she was cheating on me.
What happened was, she had told me that she was leaving for a weekend trip with her family but I had a weird feeling and I went over to her place to find that her family was home. Turns out she went for that trip on a last min with a friend. Now I am not sure how true is this, but we fought she broke up with me but took me back again and gave us a last chance. Also just to add in the past she has doubted me as well as I usually add random girls on facebook and sometimes chat with them.
I have never cheated in my relationships and she has told me many times she has never cheated either of hers. We both came from broken relationships where our exes have cheated on us emotionally and physically. I really want to believe her and I want her to believe me.
Which comes to my point now, after she gave me a chance and took me back after that incident I feel this distance from her, I am trying hard to woo her back but she has been honest to me about feeling alot less interested in me. It's been 2 weeks since we agreed to start over. She is spending more time with her friends, and again she went on a weekend trip with another friend who is also a lesbian, which isn't exactly allaying my fears. I know I should try to trust her but I have this nagging feeling in my heart. I also understand she has a lot of new work commitments as she just switched jobs so she has to put in more time at work.
Should I just wait it out? I mean I don't blame her for feeling the way she does but when she pushes me to a corner I feel a need to run and sometimes she throws the break up card at me to test me or maybe she is really breaking up I don't know. Also she has a lot of other lesbian friends whom she hangs out with. I feel kind of threatened. Then again she feels rather insecure about me because of my looks and she knows other girls are constantly checking me out.
Help...what should I do??
Anyway I am posting today because after a tumultuous courtship of 3 months, my girlfriend and I have come to the last stand. We're both wrong and right at the same time, we are both equally insecure there is no barometer to measure this. After our last quarrel, I left and I know this was a huge blow to her, I left because I thought she was cheating on me.
What happened was, she had told me that she was leaving for a weekend trip with her family but I had a weird feeling and I went over to her place to find that her family was home. Turns out she went for that trip on a last min with a friend. Now I am not sure how true is this, but we fought she broke up with me but took me back again and gave us a last chance. Also just to add in the past she has doubted me as well as I usually add random girls on facebook and sometimes chat with them.
I have never cheated in my relationships and she has told me many times she has never cheated either of hers. We both came from broken relationships where our exes have cheated on us emotionally and physically. I really want to believe her and I want her to believe me.
Which comes to my point now, after she gave me a chance and took me back after that incident I feel this distance from her, I am trying hard to woo her back but she has been honest to me about feeling alot less interested in me. It's been 2 weeks since we agreed to start over. She is spending more time with her friends, and again she went on a weekend trip with another friend who is also a lesbian, which isn't exactly allaying my fears. I know I should try to trust her but I have this nagging feeling in my heart. I also understand she has a lot of new work commitments as she just switched jobs so she has to put in more time at work.
Should I just wait it out? I mean I don't blame her for feeling the way she does but when she pushes me to a corner I feel a need to run and sometimes she throws the break up card at me to test me or maybe she is really breaking up I don't know. Also she has a lot of other lesbian friends whom she hangs out with. I feel kind of threatened. Then again she feels rather insecure about me because of my looks and she knows other girls are constantly checking me out.
Help...what should I do??
I think you're doing the right thing in taking a step back and deliberating on your situation. Probably it would be better to do this together, if that's possible. Can you two have an honest talk together? I know it's so hard to let yourself be vulnerable in these situations but try to remember... You've always survived all the difficult times you've experienced. I believe we're stronger than we think. Whether the outcome of your mutual decision is what you hoped for or whether it's not, at least you'll have a direction.
Good luck to you both.