I googled on line lesbian support groups and this site came up. I am a wreck but I know what is going on and I know what I should do, its just so hard to walk away when you really love someone. My wife and I were married 12 years. Best 12 years of my life and I thought our lives. Nothing made me ever think otherwise. 2 years ago my wife met a much younger(28 year old that still lived with mommy and daddy manipluating person) and our downward spiral started. The 28 yr old wanted my life and everything in my life including my wife and she got it. My wife left me for this other person and about a month later came back and said what a terrible mistake she made and I took her back. 3 months later she tells me she cannot stop thinking about this other girl and leaves me again. This time we got a divorce, she moves out and in with this person and 2 weeks after the divorce was final they had a physical altercation(the young girl hit her) and my ex left her again and came back again. Once again I took her back because she said all the right things. She hated this other girl, could not stand her, manipulated her to no end, my ex lost all her friends and family and everyone told her at the time-don't do this you will regret it and everyone told her I was her soulmate but she did not listen to anyone and had to go out and do this to put it behind her.

This was Jan 2019. We had a great summer and started working on trust and rebuilding and taking baby steps. Well Oct rolls around and I am blind sided with-my ex is not feeling the spark with me and the other girl is back once again and she cannot stop thinking about her again. Once again my ex has decided to end things with me and move out and in with this other girl again. She truly believes this girl has completely changed in the past 6 months and is a different person now. No matter what I say it doesn't matter at all-she has decided

So we are at a point where she wants to stay best friends with me(yes I am naturally a care taker and I took care of everything for 12 years, why wouldn't she) and I told her she cannot have us both. She chose her so I am done. She turned it around to be I am making the choice not to be friends and she is very upset by my decision. I am not trying to make her make a romantic choice as I think that ship has sailed but if she was single and doing all the stuff she said she was going to do-like get her life together, stand on her own two feet, take care of herself and be single like she said she wanted to then I would have no problem being friends but that is not what she is going once again. 

My heart and stomach ache. I truly thought we would be together forever. I am 55 and she is 48 and we had so many plans for the future. Our friends all say walk away she doesn't deserve me in her life but its so hard. It was us for 12+ years and how do you fill that daily hourly hole this person was a part of? Its been one day of not talking and it feels like a lifetime. 

Not only is she losing me but she is also losing family and friends because no one that we know can stand this other person and will never accept her in to any of our lives for what she did to "us" and they have lost all respect for my ex as well.