Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group

This community is for those who are in a gay marriage, and the unique challenges that may be had in a same-sex relationship. Find support and talk to others in a same-sex marriage, and get advice from the experiences of other members.

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rob1950 01/14/2011

i found out recently that my gf of 7 years was living as a lesbian for 15 yrs. she then married and ex boyfriend for 10 years. they divorced.i paid for it like a idiot. moved in with her . then when we were just going to close on a place together. after a fight with her sister, her sister left a message on our answering machine to tell me she lived with a woman.i am very confused and hurt that she would do this to me. i have been nothing but good to her.why would anyone try to hide this from someone you are supposed to trust? now i dont trust her and want to split from her. hel me..

SilentAddict 01/14/2011

Hun im sorry ur going thru all this..I really dont know what to say all I can say is follow ur heart and trust u make the right decision.
Silent prayers ur way

deleted_user 01/14/2011

perhaps she is BiSexual. It does not mean she does not love you. She likes both men and women. Talk to her.

deleted_user 01/14/2011

i agree with husjen...talk to her... honesty and communication is the key to a good relationship.

deleted_user 01/14/2011

I have to ask, why does her 10 year marriage to a man not bother you, but a 15 year relationship to a woman does? Ask yourself, honestly, if you would you be feeling as hurt if she had failed to disclose a long-term heterosexual relationship from you. It was 17 years ago, long before you were ever in the picture. Perhaps she could intuitively sense e a same-sex relationship would make you feel this way.

Coming out of the closet is never easy. Your gf has been living a heterosexual lifestyle for a long time. She probably did not want to dredge up past prejudices that she had to deal with when she was with her ex, particularly from her current lover. If you want to have a conversation with her, have one that comes from a place of love, not one from homophobia or bigotry. It will be the only way to have a truly honest discourse. Your gf is still the same person today as she was before this information came to light. Listen to her with an open heart. If you love her, the best thing you can do is provide safe place where you both can be honest with each other.

Thelonewolf 01/15/2011

often one is scared to come out and believe they HAVE to live a hetro life cuz its 'normal'

but then again maybe she is bi

or her sister was lying?

you can live with the same sex and not ~be together~ 'roomates'

if she is a lesbian, its better she you 2 are split up.
that way you can find someone you love and she can go on about her life.
her not telling you that she was a lesbian had nothing to do with you.
it is a personal issue not for the world until one makes it. EVEN then, one can only help so much.
iv found being a lesbian is a battle cuz i was one that didnt even know it existed till like 8th grade. if someone in my class didnt ask another chick if she was bi, id probably b living a straight life @.@ cuz i wouldnt really know that i could do that. well right now.... idk right now with how things are around me if that didnt happen then and the curiosity nab me, id probably b questioning it.
ether way. this didnt just happen. idk her story to tell you what did happen.
if nething she is the same person. nothing but the fact that you know has changed.
thats all ima say.

ajr5679 01/15/2011

why does it matter? a past is in the past

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