One of the few good things my mother instilled in me was to tell the truth.And I very seldom told her lies but as a child and a child who feared her own mother, it inevitably happened.I broke a lamp and blamed it on my sister which im sure all of you can relate.Well, of course my sister never let me forget it lol, i can laugh about it now. But to my sister it's still hurts.and understandably so...This is just to say it is normal to lie as a child, we have all done it and seen and felt the scars of untruths. But i wan't to talk about lying in relationships of the boy meets girl or in this case girl meets woman type relationship.Based on my experience with the last 'girl' of 45 i recently was engaged to.to get a picture of this I'll share in short. We started dating and almost immediatly agreed to be exclusive . The relationship progressed just as quickly by my moving in with her. Me not having many material things in my life and without a car for several years aching to have what she posessed she made me feel like Cinderella the minute I got there by telling me now the house was 'ours' now and her extra car was now mine.It was all 'Ours' .. I was a bit skeptical but as time went on i allowed myself to be at least comfortable with the idea because i didnt want to insult her in anyway...Let me just add Im not materialistic nor a romantic but i think all wemon secretly wish for that prince to come and sweep them off their feet and live happily ever after as well as wanting nice-er things. Yes, I was hooked, not only by the 'things' but the attention I had never had , nor expected.Especially after living pay check to paycheck all my life.I had been content and happy expecting nothing more with the knowledge if it was all taken away I would continue in being so. Long story short , I ended up breaking it off with her, not because all of it ended up being a lie but due to her immaturity which caused the lies.This is my point , mostly in retrospect.In her mind she had good intentions in all she did but it was obvious to my great instincts it wasn't true or going to last..Not the relationship or anything that came with it.It became clear she wasn't sure of what she wanted , she had little self-awareness and had a quick temper and controlling issues among other things unattractive to me.I wasn't with a woman but a girl, as immature as can get in my opinion. Immature emotionally and mentally.And this is not to be meant as a insult or anything of the sort because the way i see it we were just different and it was the difference that resulted in our inability to be together. To explain my point further-I could say she's a liar and hold onto the hurt but in truth as i see it she was in fact lying to herself - first . Not intentionally but out of her desire to attract me and wanting to be desired. Some would ask 'What's the harm in what she did, it all sounds good?! in this case the 'lies' were only temporary satisfaction and that may be fine for some but personally I look for long lasting relationships. Evidently that was just another untruth she has told herself as well as me. Many people who have ventured in looking for a relationship and feel as if they've been lied to , deceived etc.feel like they have been made a fool of because they truly believed and trusted a certain someone. Especially the young ones because for one, they are not sure themselves of what they are or what they want and my advice to them is to not blame themselves or be ashamed. It is normal.It is all part of lifes experiences so try to be understanding and forgiving when this sort of thing happens. Lastly , I always try to see the good in people and an advocate of that since it is a fact that a majority of people do have good in them but i must warn there are those who intentionally lie, ,manipulate etc..for a variety of reasons and we must trust our instincts of their motives to guard not only our own hearts but our own lives and the lives of our dear ones from unnessesary hurt.These will be easier to recognize as we mature and be independent as much as possible on ourselves.For it is in our independence and self love that we are content and happy as opposed to looking for someone or some thing to fll our needs as well as our desires.......Any input or feedback is greatly appreciated,Thank you for listening
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