Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group

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Lesbian pains ... I feel invalid

catullus
catullus

So I'm gay. I have an amazing and beautiful girlfriend, we're almost at our 3 year anniversary. 


But although I think I'm pretty confident in my sexuality, I still feel like I'm not accepted by society- even though I live in a pretty accepting country. I want to fit in like everyone else. And it's hard. But most people will tell me that I'm being too sensitive. Although my girlfiend understands and is very sensitive to the topic, she's more bi, so not all my issues really relate to her as well. 


I feel like everything in the media is marketed towards straight people. Straight is the default. Straight is 'normal'.


And I'm so sick of seeing the same stereotypes on TV. Gay girls always die! Or they are nasty and unpleasant characters (I'm thinking of Courtney from 13 Reasons Why...) I find there are a lot of bisexuals on TV, which is great, representation is good, but it seems like it's this constant depiction that lesbians don't exist- that even if you date other girls, men still have a chance with you. 


Now I know there are plenty of issues with the depiction of bisexuals in the media as well, and that bi girls go through all kinds of discrimination of their own. I'm just saying, I feel like, living in a male-dominant society, the fact that I do not like men makes me invalid. Like people always expect that I'm going to show some interest in men at some point. Even when I try to tell them "No, I'm a lesbian, I'm 100% gay and I don't like men" people can't understand! Is this just me? 


Miek0
Miek0
Nope. And I know this is a terrible thing to say but, get used to it. Its especially difficult if you live in non-inclusive community, a predominantly hetero area. People also don't understand that being a Lesbian has less to do with sex and more to do with having a complete emotional and sexual relationship with another woman. One way to find relief through all of this is to start being an active member of the Lesbian community, find groups, be an advocate...you'll meet wonderful like-minded people and be able create relationships that are very fulfilling as well as gain a wonderful wealth of knowledge and self-awareness. I believe in re-educating those who don't understand, but I also don't have time for bigotry and close mindedness.
darkside2276
darkside2276
I concur w/the post above. The only one person and the views and emotions that matter is you. Unfortunately we live in a society that does not cater to everyone's sexual orientation, no matter how hard and often they claim they do. Myself raised in a culture (thankfully not living there) where just saying I'm a lesbian/gay is illegal, and living in a male-dominated society, I think it's harder still.. People will always seem to think that's its wrong or immoral, throw the religious book at you and their point of view. At the end, if you can find solace with the fact that you may encounter people like that but there are people from all orientations who feel differently too. I have left that desire behind to mold in. I started off that way but today I'm at peace knowing that no matter what opinion others have unless they are willing to pay my bills for the rest of my life, it does not count and matter. take care
Miek0
Miek0
Right on!!